E's Surf Report

I am the greatest pointbreak in the world, kneel before me and worship!

The Loast Coast might disagree with you Jeffrey.

http://www.knork.net/

You mean you've never seen a knork!

Check out the testimonial!

Most mornings my youngest daughter eats the frozen waffles for breakfast and they were always hard to cut up. Thanks to the Knorks that you gave me, she can now cut them herself easily. I thank you every morning for them. She also uses them to cut her meat that I used to have to cut, so it's great. They have been very useful.

I think knorks are barbaric.
Eat with two hands.
A knife and a fork.

For fork sake, we're not cavemen...

Ive never been to Jeffreys Bay but i know ive never spent two thousand dollars on a weeks trip to the lost coast.

Big Flat:1 Jeffreys Bay:0

DP a bit south: HEE HEE HEE!!!!! Three hours in the water (6-9) yielded a handful of S W E E T rides! 3-7 footers (estimates the kook), not TOO much wind-bumpiness, offshores, great shape. My egg really comes alive with some push behind it; I'm really digging the board now, and I feel like I'm now occasionally surfing not completely unlike how you're supposed to.

Show respect to the Blog Code and **** spot names. especially Cali Spots****

klooless has been scoring! niiice.

So I come home yesterday, exhausted from another day at the office and check the local websites to see what I missed at the beach. After reading the niceness report I scroll down and BAM- there is the shot of me caught inside in Fiji. Then I get to reading a few of the posts and realize my beating was part of a little discussion. Thus, I figured a bit of a story was in order. So for those of you wondering what the after shot looked like…here is a bit of a synopsis.

I was in Fiji for the first 10 days in June and by the 4th day it was absolutely pumping at our secret tubing lefthander. From the island it still looked doable on the 6’4, then me and my 2 mates got out there and realized how heavy it was. Solid 6-8 foot and just shelving into these 6 by 6 beasts that you see on the Teaupoo sections in surf films. So I pick off a good one and feel as bit bitter-then i get caught inside on a set that swings wide on the reef. With nothing to line up with in the middle of the ocean, a building swell (not exactly from the perfect angle) and a draining tide, things got real tricky. Just make it under the lip of this thing then get sucked over the falls and dragged by the set across the reef. OK i'm thinking a few reef cuts- nothing too drastic. Tide keeps draining and swell keeps building. Get another sick bowl- paddle back out with a smile and then all goes black. A hell set just warps on the reef (see picture from yesterdays report) in front of me as i nearly shit myself and as i go to duckdive just get my board ripped out from under me- leash snaps like a twig, lose my board and there i am in the impact zone with another beast in front of me- get pummeled and washed in. Luckily the Merrick was
still in one piece albeit significant damage on the tail, and a small buckle.
Needless, to say I was happy to be alive after that day. I went out again that evening on my 7’0 OB gun and ended up getting some more real good ones.
Now here I am back in the city and I have surfed a total of one hour in the 4 weeks I have been home. Everything has been such a letdown, cold water, waist high crap, and crowds. So yes, although it might have been a nightmare at the time, I would do anything to go back there and surf overhead choobs in 80 degree water with only two of my friends. If I can figure it out I’ll post some more pics from my 4 month South Pacific trip to keep the stoke alive during the summer flatness.

nice kloo!

city rat!! thanks for posting that story. crazy shit! I found that photo within the surfline users gallery. 4 months in the south pacific. DAMN!! sounds like a recipe for serious surf improvement and serious waves. good on ya!

Southern Hemi surf spots Rule! My cousin Fiji droppin the power on the that poor fool caught inside. Big Flat my a**

I got so much trouble on my mind
I refuse to lose
Here's your ticket
Hear the drummer get wicked...

So welcome to the Terrordome...

Soooooooooooo, about this here Knork, I think Colonial Sanders has a patent on that for sure. You see, he just didn't market it as he favored the Spork instead. When the Colonial was rippin' chicken legs and coleslaw, he figured that if he was gonna use one or the other, he could get more 'slaw from the Spork then the Knork. So, hence the proliferation of the Spork. Side note - aren't KFC biscuits tasty? HELL YEAH THEY ARE!

Long live the king of the fried chicken bucket!

Ok, so onto the surf. After taking in the steller showing of The Big Swell last night with about 90% of the SF surf population, I had to mojo to get me some of dat dis mo'oning. Yeap. Well, it wasn't that good really. Sure, waves were there, nice and groomed. Sure, the weather was nice. Sure, there was only one guy out when I showed up. Sure, it should have been fun. But....

Too much swell? Too little tide? Too much north in the swell? Too many excuses? Whatever, it just wasn't hooking it up. Paddle, check the wall, get up, prone out, go straight = whitewater sandwich!

Maybe later...... Ok, gotta run, I got some Chuck D and Flava-Flav rocking my headies right now.

Oh yeah, almost forgot, was the local niceness photog out this morning? Surfing not shooting? I think I said "what's up" before you hit the bano.

If so, sorry I didn't stay to say hi. I saw some waves peeling down the beach.

Back to Chuck D.

Claim
******
Claim

anyone see the flick last night?

OB: sparser version of yesterday, waist-head, mushy and bumpy, stronger sw onshores, some steeper little closeouts on the inside. Very mucky but drops and crunchy shoulders possible. Lone boogieboarder just got tubed!

Konfirming Klooless rips it up! I was having much more trouble w/positioning and peeps and missed a lot of good waves. However, heartfelt thanks to OB for the constant beatings! Once I paddle somewhere else and feel how relatively gentler the breakers are, it's playland. Piledrived over a couple of the biggish waves , why not....placement bad, technique hideous, but didn't fall over the top, kookily stood and careened down one set wave like a wobbling weeble, sure I look like an idiot but what a blast! It's hysterical. Thank you for the harsh lessons, ocean beach. :)

psst the REAL CHARGER is that little remote control surfer guy a la Big Swell trailer...

attempted to surf last nite. shiiiiitttyy. the water was warm though, but smelled funk dubious after the h20 in the redwoods this past weekend.

anybody else notice the ocean seems to be super alive this year? sea life everywhere, crabs, fish jumping, etc. got a little sketch when i noticed this foot long or so salmon-esque fish contstantly wigging out and jumping out of the water. at first i wished i could propel myself out of the water like that, than the thought dawned on me he's probably doing it out of self preservation.

*picks feet up on board and strokes a few south*

what about a splife and/or knoon? maybe to help cut thru some haupia before eating? ooh, better yet, a knorkoon, a fork/knife/spoon combo.

one thing i've always wondered is how did the great ancient chinese culture not invent the fork and knife? i always picture them out raking leaves in their front yard with two bamboo poles instead of a rake, than inventing a rake, than a fork.

I AM THE GREATEST LEFT POINTBREAK IN NORTH AMERICA AND MAY BE NEAR SOMEPLACE NAMED AFTER A CHEESE PRODUCING TOWN!! WORSHIP MY BACKWOODS, THREE TOOTHED HILLBILLY OUT OF JOB LOGGER LOCALS THAT THINK THEY OWN ME!!!

I am THE best pointbreak in the world. Oregon? step off hillybilly. South Hemi representin!

Round

Full

sean davey photos

I AM THE GREATEST BEACHBREAK IN...UMM....A 500 FOOT RADIUS FROM THE PACIFICA STARBUCKS!!!! BOW DOWN TO MY WATERFRONT TACO BELL!!!!

At least my pointbreak doesnt have baboons running around on it.

can a place thats better than this and on the west coast of the US really be kept such a secret?

glassy

good form

grey whale cove

Easy on the No. Co. names / areas etc. not that those areas aren't known - enough people in there already. Too special to broadcast. Use that code shit you guys have been using. Thanks.

I think that a knork would cut your lip?

You win Jeffrey, the Lost Coast cant compete with baboons on your Point.

Bow to your ruler! -Supertubes Baboon Enforcers

steez

The Baboons always gave me stink eye before my J-Bay sessions

j-bay - you are small potatoes. come to my house and enjoy 30 second barrels. No wetsuit either.

My Baboons will put the smack down on your Howler monkeys. I dont need malarie pills either.
G-land is overrated.

all you blowhards just need to chill out and come over to Tavi. Sample the best wave in the world. No primates. No wetsuits. No crowds. Just giant insane barrels that go forever.

South Hemi Pimps repin'.What happenened to all that North Hemi chatter? Just a bunch of frozen fools makin noise. Typical.

too much land in the northern hemi. Southern hemi's got the juice! (and the agua)

nice eruo shots today, e.
Note on the b-side bottom turn:
stylewise it all leads back to curren.

euro emulator:

original tc:

Kaiserstah! My apologies for not recognizing you. I would have dropped the session and shot photos. Give me the full dope slap next time.

Yep, I went out at the ultimate secret spot and DISPLACED WATER!! I had forgotten how that place can be mushy and closed out at the same time. But it was a beautiful morning with the offshores and I got a few. Did you head up a little north and surf that great wall of china?

Did any of you smoke a J around 7:45? I took a few pics after my sesh. In particular, I think I got a good sequence of a Patella boarder who was lighting up the place. Anyone know him tell him to email me at the site and I'll mail him a CD. Maybe I should forget trying to get to my feet? Sh^t, I'd probably be a marginal kneeboarder too. The horror! The horror! I think there was an XX23rd out there too. Sharkstah?

Important link for those who love dumb commercials. Here lizard, lizard, lizard!

http://www.everwonder.com/david/tacobelldog2.html

All niceness heads are welcome to my pointbreak. I will alert Baboon Security to your arrival.Dont forget to bring your Channel Islands "Black Beauty" 7 foot rounded pintail for the mile long rides.

oregon scientific noaa weather radios are goin' for $29.99 on amazon right now. regular $70.

bought one to replace my broken one this week. pretty sweet. if i remember not to sleep with it on during the winter maybe the wife won't throw this one against the wall.

jeffrey's bay... tom h.?

if its you, save some waves for me.
if its not you, then save some waves for me.

aight.

peace.

Bruce-Stah, not to worry, we will have plenty of time for me in front of that great lens of yours. Today was clearly not the day as you know. Couldn't have described it better: mushy but yet still closing out.

I paddled out waaaaayyyyy north and got out with no problems. Then I had to dodge a few 400 yard wide great walls. I kept paddling south in hopes that a sand bar would show its face and serve something up here or there. Never happened.

As for Smoke A J, I think Marco was out there fishing at that time. Most likely representing something white/green. Let me know if you got pics, I'll let him know.

Bruce, I'm not sure if I follow your crypto-spot codename, but was it today 7:45am, and an orange kneeboard he was riding? If so, that's where sharky and I were (me on a green-rail egg). Orange kneeboard guy is great--really nice, too--but I had to bail from a great wave halfway through because I couldn't figger how to get safely around him (he was paddling out)--definitely my fault, though; I'm sure a competent surfer could've done it. There were a few kneeboarders there early on, talking about contests and thoroughly showing up at least this stander-upper. Anyway, way to get wet, and here's hoping I didn't drop in on you or something!

Haha, the last picture on the front page looks like Gavin Beschen in a bikini.

coming up at yerba buena. looks pretty cool...party friday night the 16th...

"Beautiful Losers "
Co-produced by YBCA and the Contemporary Arts Center in Cincinnati, Beautiful Losers is an exhibition of skateboard memorabilia and contemporary art by more than fifty artists inspired by skateboarding culture. The exhibition explores the social and cultural world of skateboarding through its emergence from the 1950s surf scene and its ties to punk and urban cultures, to its mainstream status among today's youth. The works featured include paintings, sculptures, photography, film, video and web-based projects and clothing and product design from the past decade. The exhibition will also offer a concise overview of early studio and graffiti artists and designers who have had direct influence on the aesthetic development of skateboard art, an environmental "soundscape" that traces the relationship between skate culture and popular music, a selection of skate-related ephemera, a film and video program, an installation of a full-scale skate bowl and a four-color illustrated catalog. Artists include Andy Warhol, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Keith Haring. The artists featured include renowned figures such as Keith Haring and Andy Warhol along with local artists such as Tommy Guerrero, Barry McGee and Craig R. Stecyk.

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=1160

i cant remember if someone posted this allready but its pretty cool

Yippie! I got me some pictures of Klooless who is a lot better surfer than he lets on. I think I got one of Marko and Sharky too. The Bait bears a striking resemblance to Layne Beachley and she RIPS!

And Kloo, I got you almost running over the guy on the kneeboard, as well! And it was totally HIS fault for not getting out of your way! No worries, man, you missed him by a few inches- no harm, no foul. :-) I surfed on the other side of the hill in close-out land.

I'm knocking you peeps off one by one. Pretty soon EVERYONE in Northern California will have to supress their laughter watching me surf. HA-HA-HA! (sinister laugh)

I got both kneeboarders, but the guy on the white one got the best shots. Check the site at 8:00 pm tonight (Photos 12). Email me if you don't want them up there. Don't want to upset anyone, those eggs can exert plenty of foot poundage on an old guy's head.

nice work Bruce-Caboose!

anyone know what the surf is like south of p-town? i was thinking about taking a morning mission tomorrow to hunt for waves.. maybe SC, maybe some beach in southern san mateo county.. anybody know anything? Dano? Montara guy (grant?), peeps?

thanks

bagel.. that movie is awesome.

I can echo y'all in that the orange kneeboarder sure was ripping. Big carves, lip bashes, subtle barrel nips (had they tubed). I should know as I was always kooked out inside per usual.

e, you got mail.

punk girls rule

Howdy Marco! Hullo! Making up for faux pax spaciness this morning....I thought it was you but had trouble processing from your civilian clothing look to neoprene superhero look, then I fumbled off in another direction.

Bruce: Nice, but no no no! Layne Beachly, however, does rip. You take great shots but get your eyes checked!!! I am seriously concerned! Let me know when you need volunteers for your wipeouts page ;)

fyi OB is howling mad but gorgeously sunny, attention windsurfers.

jamaica

i'd look awful funny trying to kick my own ass for pimping my home break, e. the lurkers can drive to find out. :P

fyi: the outrigger allegedly shuts down on sunday. dave sold it. not clear what the new owners will do.

will it look like this around here again?

who wants to smoke-a-jay in the place that rhymes with the action? i'll be suiting up and tokin up in about an hour...

Luke, I will be trolling the coast for sure.

yeah that first pic that e posted i think is coxos, pronounced (koshows) in portugal. Saw it go off when i visited in april, good stuff if you like clawing into sick fat meaty barrels that will rip you a new arse and if the wave isn't mean enough, the reef will send you packing home with a few battle wounds. Just thought everyone would like to fit a name to such a sick wave.

yeah that first pic that e posted i think is coxos, pronounced (koshows) in portugal. Saw it go off when i visited in april, good stuff if you like clawing into sick fat meaty barrels that will rip you a new arse and if the wave isn't mean enough, the reef will send you packing home with a few battle wounds. Just thought everyone would like to fit a name to such a sick wave.

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