E's Surf Report

yo e...

saw you scoping at 7sih... was doing the same
could not get excited enough about anything i saw
to pull on the wettie either.....

hooray for curren. makes me feel a little bit younger....

woke up. looked at the wind site. looked at the bouys. went back to bed. i might be productive today.

On a side note: I'm looking for a new roommate in a 2 BR flat--starting June 1. Here are some details:
1. oceanview (front windows are my surf cam); open front windows for the ocean in stereo
2. working fireplace
3. small back-/sideyard shared with tenants above
4. garage and small storage space
5. ample street parking
6. Sutro park is across the street
7. Quiet neighborhood
8. Dog friendly
9. Very spacious
10. 1/2 of rent is $1050 (currently trying to negotiate this down with landlady)
11. Walking distance to Balboa Thtr. and neigborhood restaurants
12. Retrofitted foundation
13. House shakes during big storms as a reminder of who's really boss

Can be reached via email at randt_bill@hotmail.com

Josh Hoyer interview

I have a cousin who works in a spa in Sedona, I have always wondered if he was gay. He recently announced he is moving to San Francisco. Now I know for sure...

SS Sharkbait and I had the beach to ourselves 8:30 - 10 (she on her snazzy new self-painted rfs board; post a pic, SS?). Thick and crumbly outside, steep but random inside--top-notch July conditions!

1 in 10?

i never understood why people use "gay" as a derogatory term. What's the big deal if someone likes being with somebody of the same sex. So what? How does that matter to anyone but those two people?

Jesus- what ? In my dream last night we took back California for ourselves. Kicked out all these three times baked eastcoast invaders; - sent them packing, back to whatever immigrant puritan shitville east coast town they came from. BTW: Take your east coast values and shove them up your ass. All the geeks from the midwest were ordered back to their various home states of: Ohio, Michigan, Illinois, Nebraska, Colorado; - endless - ever notice all the out of state plates in this town? Last night driving home some 20 something jock type in a brown, with a tan top jeep, Georgia plates; guy cuts me off on purpose after tailgaiting me through the mid-tunnel and then gives me a snide look as he goes from the left lane all the way over to the right lane only to end up stuck behind the bus- who the fuck is that asshole? Do you know him? FUCK ALL YOU SOUTHERNERS TOO!
All these selfish people dishing their fucked up east of 101 values on us - you folks have some fucked up nerve crowding our city and our streets , taking our jobs, trashing our land, fucking up the beaches with all your 21st century urbane bullshit. All this while you assume your new role as
" Californian." As if you were the "original." You will be stopped.
FYI: Montara is not a surf spot. Exposing SD is kind of fucked; the lot this spring will be full of cars and surfers exploiting their "newly discovered" surf lands and then slyly exposing the waves by posting pic's on this here website. Way to go assholes. Sucks so bad seeing the demise of California and we owe it all to you and of course also to the immigrants from Russia, China and every where fucking else.
Or is this a waking nightmare?
Yeah, Spring has sprung. BEAT IT.

Damn Dickey. Its a competitive world. Get an education, make some money, buy some property in paradise or just live with it. Try to get laid too. You seem to need it.

easy there dickey...

i DID bring my rope from NC and there are
some purty trees down by the beach that
could use a pinata like you swangin' in 'em...

amigoism - i know a girl who is (probably) looking to move to the beach in the very near future, just depends on her work situation. any restrictions on male v. female?

HEY

It's not "niceness" to make fun of dead guys

Hey Dickey,
Your an imigrant too! Where do you start the clock? My clock starts prior to 10,000 years ago before the Indians (I mean Chinese or was it Pacific Islanders) made it here first.
So the rule is either first come first serve (that means your not local so you better leave) or survival of the fittest (that means you're also out since you complain about people taking things from you and all you can do is complain on a website).
Of course, you do have a point about people exposing surf breaks making them more popular everyday. DON'T NAME LOCATIONS ON THE INTERNET. IT ONLY TAKE AWAY WAVES FROM ALL US IMMIGRANTS.
Signed, non-local (even though relatives have been in CA since the 1800's)

Nice post Mickey. Agree 100%. I've pretty much put surfing on the back burner thanks to this site. Hopefully klein doesn't censor your post.

$1000+ for a bedroom? fucking no wonder born and bred locals are pissed

true blah..take it from me, back when i discoverd the richmond district it was like 10 bucks for 500 cubits of land

nice rant yanni

i hope curren doesnt blow it..kind of michel jordan syndrome a little but i hope he channels his inner occy.

God help me but I thought these conditions were fun. Confirming 25 minute frigid paddle into....huh? Alternately felt like tobogganing over moguls, or getting mowed in a mediocre avalanche. E's quote "what maneuvers can i perform on the wave," still, of course, remains a marvel of future mystery. Kloo nearly got a miniscule barrel on a random inside thumper, before it thumped. Whooshing onshores, these neoprene hoods sure are nice.

As an engineers rule, take something to the limit to see if it works. If everyone was gay, we would be in our last generation as humans, we would be run out of existence, therefore being gay does not work. If the parts work, using them on members of the same sex is a waste, not to blame those who happen to be gay, its not always their fault.

pissed fucking off, shit, fuck

Taking the engineers rule, if all color was blue, ther wouldn't be any red. Doesn't make any sense.

gay people good. breed less than non gay. less transplants from east coast. good, very good, them gays

to see if what works? genetic perpetuation (aka children) is not everyone's goal, it could just be for enjoyment.

Mora was Greek. 'Swingin from the tree'? This is his menatlity - figures. NC Korewin, a core niceness dweeb. Your comments are exactly why you need to leave this town and this state and quickly drive back to your inbred immigrant backwater white racist shithole - seriously, why are you here? A trip down Cali history lane is what you need. It's not hard to figure out the past; our old Yerba Buena was here long before any of you came west. Once you "get it" we might let you take a swing at said Pinata.
Civil rights issues anyone?
Ignorant EuroAmerican scum.

i wooshed into a closing out foamer. fredric screemed 'oh my gord, bert, you charged'.

i replied, not only do i charge, i was using the word 'charged' back in high school in the 80's.

wow

Sinus Infections SUCK!! Feels like someone opened up my skull and took a dump and closed it up again. Don't surf after it rains.

My God, it is all so clear now! You guys are absolutely right. I will be making preparations to murder my homosexual family members and friends this weekend as they are potentially impacting the survivability of the human species. After the murders I will take my sorry ass back to Mesopotamia (or maybe North Africa? gotta do some research- where is that Lucy chick from?) to resolve my immigrant status and hide out from the fuzz. Two birds with one stone!

Where do people come up with this stuff?

Too bad your momma wasn't gay, that's the only thing that could have shut you up. I like a firm torso, chiseled buns, large shoulders. Am I gay? No my girfriend is a competitive swimmer.

bornn here surf here kinda played out and the transplanters always say 'indian here first'. surfing fun for everbuddy. even gays too.

ha, mesopotamia

Josh Hoyer is a cry baby

OK. It is official.

Based on the comments today.

The surf season is now over.

look here, surfers who are local sometimes tell me fo fuck off. I say no thanks you. eat me, motherfucker. eay, no more of this callikng transplants gay.

I will weastern union to you and my friend pick up maybe so?

i agree, that hoyer kids needs to cheer up and realize he's living the typical surfer's dream... american surf pros are so spoiled it's ridiculous

Fark, everyone's pissed today.

If it’s something I want to do, you can offer me all the money in the world and I’ll do it eventually.

Please don't feed the trolls -- even if they are not getting laid.

I had a nice session in crappy surf. Whatever, I got some exercise. BTW, I chatted with this guy who had this sweet Ward Coffee board with channels. It looked pretty trick.

The Pipe contest yesterday was fun to watch. They said that something like 16+ boards were broken during the meet. Those guys were ripping in some challenging side-shore conditions. Curren got some of the sickest Backdoor rides of the day, and Pancho was on a mission. I vote for Parko, Fanning or Dingo for the WCT. Let's get some new blood taking the whole thing.

Oh, those water shots from yesterday were sick.

Pancho yesterday (if the img shows up)

NEWSFLASH>>>>>>>>>>>>GOLF IS GAY!!!!!!!!

Clearly some of you need to drop by and pick up a phatty organic salad. As ethan well knows, they improve your emotional health as well as physical.

Take it out to the beach to enjoy, the drum circle and the mystical bare-breasted hula girls will arrive to take your minds off transplants, your ridiculous rent, lynching, onshores, close outs, whether sand dollar is a secret spot or not, whether calling something "gay" when you mean it's lame is acceptable or not, and all the bullshit that is clogging up this place.

Kaiser where the fuck have you been with the photos man?

To J,

The flat is nice and well-maintained: large kitchen; dining room; living room; split bath. I have no gender preference or sexual orientation preference--my only thing is I'd prefer not to have someone who'll park themselves in front of a TV all day and/or all night--though I don't have a TV. It does suck that the rent is high; I'm trying to get the landlady to relax her greed.

By the way, Indians are transplants too! If you don't like tranplants go back to Africa or the Big Bang.

Good timing on the Curren announcement. There's a 1/2 hour Curren special on Fuel this Sunday. Here's the info:

--------------------------------------------
The Surf Vault, Episode 1
"Trials to Title"
TOM CURREN
U.S. Broadcast Premiere � Sunday, February 27, 2005, 12:30pm PST
FUEL

Narrated by Gerry Lopez
Written by Chris Mauro
Produced & Directed by Alan Gibby
Featuring the Music of Tom Curren
Courtesy of wedge productions pty limited, NSW, Australia & Troubadour Entertainment
Images by ASG, DynoComm, Zone57 & The Curren family

Interviews with Tom Curren, Dave Gilovich, Al Merrick, Evan Slater, & Peter Townend

The Story
Like all sports, surfing has always had its heroes. But while many come and go, true heroes are never forgotten... Their legends only grow... In the world of surfing, no surfer proves this point better than California�s classic son, Tom Curren... because while Curren came to power in the mid 80s with back to back World Titles... he became legend in 1990, when after a three year hiatus, he reappeared to start from scratch, and dominate the world of pro surfing in a way that can never be repeated... It�s hard to pinpoint why Curren�s legacy outweighs even his three incredible titles. Kelly Slater has long since passed him, and others like Andy Irons have matched it... Maybe it�s the fact that Curren won all his titles in front of huge crowds instead of remote reefs... Perhaps it�s his reluctant hero appeal that adds to the Curren mystique... Or maybe it�s the fact that to this day, he still holds the record of most tour event victories over every other surfer in history... even Kelly Slater. -- Chris Mauro, Editor, Surfer Magazine
--------------------------------------------

I think the only qualification for not being a transplant is if you were in the first clan to cross the Bering Straits via the Aleutian Islands, right? But then that's not really indigenous either is it? But then Manifest Destiny resulted in gringos chasing off the Californians and Indians. The world's getting more crowded hombres--luckily, we've got Bush in power to start a few wars. I'll get my radioactive-resistant wetsuit ready.

The only way to deal with trolls is to limit your reaction to reminding others not to respond to trolls.

safeway has the 10 for $10 deal this week. Take that down to the beach. The thing about weed that worries me is that I'll end up delusional and create some popular hipster/trendsetter website marketing our surfspots to the world. Making me look like an ass. Brown weed was good in its day as it produced no motivation or enthusiastic thoughts.

I'm an east coaster looking to exploit the SF surf scene. Any advice?

To hear the Mother rocking your house would be worth the rent by far. I had that for about a year last year and probably will never have that chance again. When the big swells showed up, there was nothing better.

Dickey is great and lame at the same time.

I'm an east coaster looking to exploit the SF surf scene. Any advice/

hipster/trendsetter it dude. like that anti smoking commercial mocking RJR does. get some droids together to get hipsters and trendsetters to spread the gospel of surfing to the masses. Like for example have a hipster stand guard in a trendy nightclub with surfwear prominently displayed on.

marketing 102 bitches

The Colonel (aka Charlie Don't Surf) has some new postings. The guy is a crack up as in the 5th worst thing about HB:

"5. Helicopters. What the hell is it about HB and helicopters? 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, it's like a scene from Blue-fucking-Thunder. If it's not some jackass flyboy cop buzzing the pier every hour, it's his buddy with the spotlight hovering over every house downtown, looking for a party to bust. I don't even want to know how much of our tax dollars goes to maintaining and operating these overpriced toys."

If you've lived in Hell-A, you know what he is talking about.

Anonymous - if i do move out there do i have to talk like that?

NEWSFLASH>>>>>>>>>>>>SURFING IS GAY!!!!!!!!

Come'on - paddle around with a bunch of other guys wearing tight black neoprene?!? Gay.

yup, talk like dat here dude

Can someone please tell me why drivers in California don't understand that the left lane is for faster traffic and the right lane is for slower traffic? I was reading Dickbag Mora's comments above and realized he was probably driving 50mph in the left lane and couldn't understand why this out-of-state asshole was tailgating him. God, it makes me angry when people sit in the left lane driving below the speed limit. I guess it's the same logic with rainy days out here - people just can't seem to break the 40mph barrier. One drop of rain must seem like a blizzard to you local Californians. You're a bunch of spoiled little brats.

hard to get raped in the ass with neoprene on i figure

blah, they're only pissed til they realize the house they bought for 100K sells for 2 mil, then they're happy - yet still bitch.

it ain't really takin your job if a) you weren't qualified for it and b) didn't apply for it.

Can you tell me why every east coast asshole sounds like fricking Andy Rooney from the age of 13 on?

Can you tell me why every east coast asshole sounds like fricking Andy Rooney from the age of 13 on?

THANKS whole foods! i just ate a huge salad
with sprouts, tofu and what not...made me
put that rope away and wanna grow some
dope in my backyard.

anybody wanna buy a mini-truck?
i think i need a vw bus to go totally cali.....

yup, blog is getting stupid again, time for an adjustment

"yeah e, lunch is on the table over there"

"i sure hope kaiser gets here soon and helps me hold this post up, i'm getting tired"

"yup, looks like it'll be blowing onshore this afternoon"

Perhaps you post picture of girl because you are gay and want to fake that you are not so? These gay get married to women have kid and then say they gay later. like a fakester. you do same my friend?

Damn, that guy writes just like MONGO.

Too bad he isn't as funny

Surfing is one the greatest gifts Hawaii has given the rest of the world. The first European visitors drew pictures of naked young men riding the waves on long pieces of wood, and ever since, Oahu has been one of the surfing capitals of the world.

Like other testosterone sports, gay men love the image of the wet and rippled surfer coming out of the waves with his shiny board. But the surf world is notorious for being macho, homophobic, and wary of outsiders. But that changed in Hawaii in 1999 when Doug Smith (right) ran a small ad in the back of the Honolulu Weekly stating a gay surf club was forming. Sheepish emails from closeted surfers began to trickle in, and then out gay men who never ventured to try the sport felt braver to do so, and now Doug's gay surf club meets in front of the open arms of the Duke Kahanamoku statue (the most famous surfer who ever lived) in Waikiki weekly, with over two dozen participants on any given Saturday.

"I had been surfing since I was 6 in California, after my father learned how to surf in Hawaii and taught me and my brothers," explains Doug. "When I came back to live in Hawaii after having gone to school here, I knew I wanted to make surfing part of my life, because it's easy too get busy miss the reason why you even live here." After spending a lot of time hanging out with straight surfers and hiding his sexuality, Doug thought it would be nice to surf with someone he could be himself around. He was sure there were other closeted surfers, but he knew it would be hard to find them.

But after the ad ran, "One of the first people who contacted was a local boy who had been in surfing contests growing up here. He was adorable, and a closet case, but he surfed with us, and thought that it was great, but he was not into exposing himself, like a typical local surfer boy. At least I think we helped him come out a bit."

Doug says that most of the other surfers in the group have lived here for years and always wanted to start, but never had the guts to do it. "The fact that we give free lessons I think helps people step up to the plate." And what is the typical Saturday crowd? "We get some guys in the military who are closeted, and there's a local lesbian couple who joins us a lot. We get a lot of people who hear through the grapevine about us and visitors show up from as far away as New Zealand, Spain, Ireland, Australia, Brazil, and we even had a whole family from Holland once!" Besides the Saturday group, the core surfers in the group have begun to explore surf spots on the North Shore and around the island.

 "They keep asking us to be in the Gay Pride parade, but we haven't done it yet," Doug admits in typical reticent surfer fashion. "But surfing is so much a part of our culture here. A lot of people leave saying they surfed in Hawaii and they remember it for the rest of their lives. It's a huge deal to them."

thanks for the Colonel update. The guy's a crackup.

At ease

howdy yall.

http://seth.sysum-online.com/t/t.html

oops..heres that first image..

mongo nos phonics

I'm unhappy

being pro homo myself (I run a gay male escort service, sometimes I have to "fill in" for the boys) I am reminded that gay sex in men is dangerous because of risk of infection. The fact that the anus is smaller than the penis means rectal bleeding and that is not good because of blood semen exchange. I worry myself sick sometimes. I call it the "anal fissure factor". Reminds me that might be a good name for a band. E, does your band have a name yet???

Seth, your pictures are really good man! Somethin really OG about 'em. Keep it up, and keep postin them here!

geez!! Almost all of the negative posts today were from the same dude... cletus.. (not the original mickey dora post or the original gay post... but every other one). this is his IP

67.188.152.210

you suck man.

hooray!

the BUNZ is back!
welcome home kaiser.....

I hope you meant "you suck, man"

Otherwise it could be construed as homophobic.

I'll take the one in pigtails please

ha! yeah.. true friend #1.. anyway.. haters are always a bummer. but.. i feel bad for them too. It must be miserable to hate all the time.

I suspect it was your mention of the Bravo channel that sparked all the anti-gay stuff.

From now on, only talk about shows on Spike TV.

Haha, yeah e, your design comment probably didn't go well with the anti's. like that means anything? Can't you block people like that?

John Currin

i believe it was last week someone was blogging about dolphins in the line up.....

funny, i didn't even notice pigtails had pigtails, must've been distracted.

surf Surf SURF... let's hope we all get slotted for the required 2 minute minimum in the next few days (slotted in whatever tube one might prefer that is) the surf's there.

GET SOME!

word i picked this long to admit that i was stoked that guy won too e..ha na i saw that show for the first time last week after a long day of hooting at chicks, playing football, drinking beer and giving high fives. but it was a good show, that black chick was a beeach and im glad she lost, same with that other lady with that glasses. wish i coulda seen it last night..wow i feel like doug smith

wasnt shane horan gay?

wait a minute e you mean you know everytime i post a fake post...doh!

nice photos as always seth like the tree with the birds..

yikes. it's got to be the moon.

Seth... right on. e, might be time for Typekey. The signal-to-noise ratio is out of control sometimes.

Am i getting the last post on the east coast at 9PM before i head out in the city? Second thought, SF surf scene is legit, nightlife not so sure................ Tonic tonight.............?

That's it, I officially join the e's yes man club. Dissenters are to be singled out for not agreeing with official site political stances. So go ahead, call out my favorite spots, talk about your cutbacks, bring attention to the central coast it needs it. Don't require passwords, just call out the IP of offensive viewpoints, problem solved, and everyone can be happy and pat each other on the back and say, nice cuttie. Your friend, (not so) anon. by the way, I am not hostile to gays in the least bit, in this country even the devil gets an advocate, just too touchy and close to home for you guys to put up with. I understand, and props to you.

Snaked by not so anonymous, oh well.

get your little ID verify thingy like schmooser suggests. stick your nose in an established culture, exploit it, piss people off, people piss you off, piss people off some more, get laid off like every other tranny, move back to jersey, people get less pissed, repeat.

signed,
pissed

Nice anon.
Enessness: Get hip to the classic trip brah!

Hooked: - props.
EXPOSE.

thanks yall for the comments..ill have more pics up tomorrow...and yall can always count on me posting some here when i get new ones...

DAMN, gone for a few days and fucking Dora and Friends take over and kill the stoke meter. Shit, I got home, checked the meter, fucking busted. Gay this, gay that, local this, transplant that, all over the fucking place.

E, way to play the IP card. Brilliant.

So, as I was saying, the stoke meter....Blah, blah, blah. This should tide you monkeys over while I run to Atlanta to get a fucking Chick-Fil-A. Dora, you want one? I will bring it to your favorite surf spot for ya?

yeah way to try and intimidate those who don't agree.

whats an ip anyway? no more surfing, sad but it was a great season..seatle is the new san francisco anyway though right? as far as gay jokes go that is actually my grandparents still think im gay cause i live in SF and am an "artist" to boot..i think they imagine me with my beret and bongos smoking reefer drawing naked guys in my loft..what the hell am i saying, i guess just that sf gay jokes are tired..dont get me wrong i still call my friends gay to make fun of them or my brother a fag to piss him off but SF=gay? this aint the seventys..try to be a little original..maybe sf is just cursed though..maybe gavin opened it up again with the whole marrige thing..maybe im scared of what people think of me..maybe im bored stuck at work..anyway gay is ok..i have a pet peve though, overly flamboyant straight dudes..overly flamboyant gay dudes can be a bit much as well sometimes. ok thats all, sorry.. ill post a picture of who i would like to win the wct this year

Message to Dora......I helped you out when you were hurting out at kelly's one day. Give it up...you are not a hero and no more a local than anyone on this site. Pick up some trash on your way back up the beach next time you f'ing kook. To all the rest...show respect and earn respect...OB deserves more than she gets.

I just caught my husband looking at practically nude girls who are skinnier than I am on this site. I have asked him to stop going here. If you see his IP pop up, and I know that is not the only thing popping up, please let me know. He is a new father and he has far better things he could be doing than ogling women, it's demeaning and demoralizing for me to see him spending his time looking at ladies with perfect bodies after I bore his child. I will be looking that good again soon anyway. As for the guy who posted this, I am sure he is a teen aged depraved maniac. Well sonny when you have kids your world is going to be changing, don't be like my husband, trust me, wives do not like their husbands ogling other women. Post Partum

This is for all the bagel's, etc that are still at work like me.

Some kine southbay waves at a place that has been goin' off the last month.

http://elporto.com/index.php/1-20-05/303/0/

secure women don't mind the ogle.

kaiser, welcome back. glad you got those photos from that house party on monday i sent you, thx for posting 'em.

hb - GO HOME!! good lord homey, what do you do??

damn thanks hb..i miss la sometimes though i dont think ive ever seen el porto like that..holy

I love the follow up post.....Inside information? Playing tricks? Or just dumb luck? You know what is up....

I am a freakin new dad and my son picked out the pictures to post. Call it "training" and if you and you don't like it, STAY OFF THE FUCKING INTERNET.....

J, thanks for the shout out on the phone. Sorry I didn't get back to you, my flight schedule has been a bit demanding if you will.

do I sense a little negativity?

Thank you! Chinese Apes.