E's Surf Report

http://www.hedonistica.com/media.php?path=/videos/eve_sextape.wmv

I went surfing at doran yesterday hella good session with good rights n lefts

yo e
they put some bad s&$@ in your chai tea this morn
cause a crumbly dump session at ob could not be solely responsible for all tht morbid zombie drizzle

E,

are todays musings inspired by the latest GR zombie movie? Checkout " Return of the living dead" a mid 80's zombie movie with skatepunks and mowhawked zombies, pure kitchy entertainment.No fog eels though!

peace

Just finished pizza with my lifelong bro here in NY. We bet $20 bucks on whether I'd have a clean getaway. A clean getaway means you are in and out of the pizza place on the main drag without having to say hello to someone you know from the high school days.

Sure enough out of the corner of my eye I see this dude from my HS class.

I glance over again to make sure and there is another dude I don't know wearing a NorCal Surf Shop T shirt.

I drop my slice, tell my bro Frank we're out of there, toss my garbage thinking......surfing is officially dead.

L.I. N.Y. beach breaks remain flat and onshore.

I second the dumpy beach conditions.

Yesterday evening, however, offered up many nice slices of oceanic energy. But it's eerie to be in the fog not really knowing too much about how fast you're floating (cuz ya can't see land to mark your position) with the current; one minute you could catch a glimpse of seal rocks, next minute they're gone; went over a 1/2 mile in less than an hour).

Tom, yeah, I was back in NY last month. I orded a pizza when the plane touched down at JFK. I was disappointed I no longer knew the bartender at the bar at the tranin station. I went out to Robert Moses and took a swim in the absence of waves...east coast flat is way different than OB flat. I can't believe I used to swim without a wetsuit...I've become a giant puss.

Any surfers out there carry a knife? I had occasion to use mine while kiting (newbie kiter blown into fisherman's line) and realized it woulda been really nice to have that time I got hooked as a newbie surfer.

surfing is actually still alive. if you let the fashion shit get to you you're dead.

amigoism, i was out in the middle by myself yesterday evening. spooky being out there all alone. i couldn't stop thinking about how stupid that i was for being out there with nobody in sight. thinking constantly of the tooth.

e, your story reminds me of that movie the fog. some awesome shots of the point reyes area in that movie.

i'm looking for recommendations about board shapes.
Me- beginner knocking on the intermediate door
strong paddler due to years of competitive swimming. Currently ride a 7'6 michel junod fun board measurements about 2 3/4 x 18(?) x 22 x 7'6, surf head high or smaller, occasionally can't get solid balance on the board if the wave is really fast. I'm looking to start learning how to carve. Any shapes that may help me learn this more easily than my current board? Any shops have demo boards in the sf area?
Thanks.

Surfing's dead. I'm a necrophiliac.

I've been dead for years but when NorCal surf shop t shirts start showing up in Sal's Pizza in Mamaroneck, NY......even a ghost like me has no chance escaping the crowds.

Stick a fork in it.......

thinking about getting this. any comments out there?

haha, just watched Point Break the other night. Surprisingly the surfing in that movie is pretty good, other than the flip-flopping of a dude going goofy and then regular on the same wave. Anyone know where they filmed those scenes?

--Johnny Utah

"i do!" - LOL

googled goth surfer and got the following

"quickly turning heads with their unique style combining goth and surfer music."

check it out:
http://www.toronto-goth.com/reviews/cd/vbb.shtml

E, that looks like R2D2 version 1.0. Maybe a beta version in fact.

I was surfing Saladita (Mexico) and a dude had a Nor Cal rash guard while a girl from Oregon (who dropped in on me twice) was riding a baby blue Aqua board.

I don't understand......I really don't.

But, I am currently wearing a Quiksilver polo shirt as I type this......

surfing's dead, wise sucks, boycott burton, sellout this, sellout that, blow it out your ass

hb
some point break beach scenes were filmed at the manhattan pier
but i suppose they went elsewhere for the waves

the world is shrinking----

was driving down a dirt road to an isolated north east kauai break last week and noticed a red hmb surf shop rash guard lying in the dust

the last reported attack took place on June 6 off Mogadishu when three gunmen in a white speedboat opened fire with automatic weapons on a bulk carrier identified as the Tigris.

Herb, I was at exactly that spot last summer (not that I'm much beyond it now). You didn't say how big you are, which matters as to board size.

Quiver-building time! A shorter board is easier to whip around quickly. But the truth is you can turn a 7'6" funboard about as sharply as you might want to at this stage, and if you're having balancing trouble on that board, moving to a narrower/shorter one might be frustrating.

That said, if I were you I'd get a shorter, different type of board anyway to play with. Maybe you'll love it right away, maybe it'll be something to try now and then and to work up to.

People will suggest different boards, but you might consider either a standard shortboard shape or a "modern" fish type board (much like a shortboard but less rocker, wider, ... which tranlates to easier wave-catching, more stability). In either case, for the conditions around here and at your level look for something not too short and not too thin.

I weigh about 160. Last summer I was riding an 8' funboard, and bought a (6'6"x18 3/4"x2 1/2") shortboard. I am glad I did that rather than moving down more gradually. But I'm really enjoying a modern fish right now (6'2"x19"x2 1/2"), and maybe I would have progressed faster if I'd gone for it right away. Sorry for the long post...

Speaking of not surfing alone...anyone interested in a lunch session (there's a place that's been pretty fun the last two days) email me: klooless@gmail.com.

How was your pizza J?

don't forget:

trannies suck, longboards suck, and valley go home.

i'm wearing banana republic boxers was i type this.

the top/back of my shoulder hurts - sounds like tendonitis, "impingment" or a tear. sounds like a common injury for surfers/swimmers. anyone out there reccomend recovery strategies or exercises? thanks

I want some pizza.....

Question for all you tech heads:

Cheap web hosting?

My wife and I are going to adopt a second child and we need to have a website so prospective birthmothers can check us out. For the first adoption we had space as part of our Dial-up package. It appears that our DSL provider does not give it away for free. They will however give us way more than what we need for another 12 bucks a month.

We only need a small amount of space for a couple pages of text and photos.

So, anyway. Anyone know of a good host?

On moonless nights, hell zombies pour out of the San Andreas Fault and paddle out at Devil's Slide. Sometimes they enjoy a paddle up to Lindy and Rockaway. On longboards. Sharks do not eat them, b/c their flesh is rotten and gangrenous! No eyeballs in their eye sockets either! They surf with an evil, otherworldly sixth sense and snack on poisonous jellyfish tentacles. Sometimes they grab your leash! And stick a bony finger in your chest! They want to ghoulishly munch your brain putty, but first...they do a little sideslip into the pocket and go over the falls on a 3 foot mushy close-out, the fekkin' kooooks.

-MM

punk is dead thats for sure..green days still pretty good though..imho. surfing for me is in a coma, t's been about 2 weeks. im pretty much a goth surfer at this point. listening to "some old bullshit" from beastie boys man they were good, now they are totally dead, sad.

HB, they also filmed that knife scene in point break at leo carillo, one of my favorite n. la county points. my friend was surfing there alone in the fog one day. when he said curren paddled out and it was just him and curren. this was back in 19 diggity dee. dont know if i beleive it to this day.

Man, I love zombies. I know this is gonna sound weird, but i've ALWAYS wanted zombies to be real. It would make life more interesting and fun, I think. It's like, going to work would be much more exciting everyday: "Hey man, how was the traffic this morning?" "Ah fuck, it was great, man, I just ran over 12 zombies! I think I ran over my old neighbor too." No one would cry anymore when their loved ones pass away. It'll be like, "Don't worry, he'll be back." We would all be legalized to carry around fire arms. Holy shit, this would be way better than going out on a dawn patrol: ZOMBIE PATROL! I would load up a jeep with guns, ammo, snacks, music, and drive around with my crew killing zombies. Or, we might find a stranded group of hot chicks, and have to rescue them from some incoming zombies. Or, imagine being holed up in some barricade or boarded up school, and you're running the joint and keeping your fellow survivors happy. Man, I would only let hot chicks come in to be rescued, "Okay, bitch, I'm protecting you, clothing you, feeding you, taking care of you! Now it's time you gotsta take care of me!" I'll just build up my little harem.

"surfing's dead, wise sucks, boycott burton, sellout this, sellout that, blow it out your ass"
Posted by: j on June 30, 2005 11:16 AM

Just a coincidence ...hmmm? Only kiddin' Bob ...

"WISE is an acronym for the World Institute of Scientology Enterprises, a "nonprofit religious corporation ...[whose] purposes are to promote and foster the religious teachings of L. Ron Hubbard in society ..." (World Institute of Scientology Enterprises License Agreement, part C)

WISE operates primarily in the US and Europe at present and charges member businesses an annual fee and a percentage of their income in exchange for the rights to use WISE training and practices, which consist of administrative theories and techniques developed by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard.

WISE is about bait-and-switch conversion to a religion, with recruiters collecting a prize for each new convert.

The goal of WISE is to get Hubbard's theories and techniques used in every business in the world. Take a close look at whether you would want such a world before signing on with WISE."

From "Operation Clambake" http://www.xenu.net/

surf logos are ok once they are at least 25 years old. but of course "fashion " statements will always copy the desires of youth.if you own a surf company advertse by any means .trannies and valleys are always around you and longboards when used correctly are great.when our beach is flat, that is 2-3 ft east coast.Coltraine=Genius

just my humble musings

friend #1, your the man! good luck dude.

friend #1, check out logjamming.com. Pretty cheap and great guys...

friend #1 -- e's is hosted on dreamhost.com. Wicked cheap and great service. Highly recommended.

#1, i use catalog.com for hosting. i pay about $25/yr and i think you can get a domain for like $8. cheapness.

kloo,
thanks for the insight. anyone with ideas about what helped them learn to carve. Everything happens so quick its hard to think about it while out there.

In real life, the zombies come from the Caribbean island of Haiti. They are a person who has been almost-killed, and then later raised from the almost-dead by a voodoo priest, to be used as slave labour for the rest of their miserable life. Zombies can move, eat, hear and speak, but they have no memory and no insight into their condition. There have been legends about zombies for centuries, but it was only in 1980 that a real-life case was documented.

The story begins in 1962, in Haiti. A man called Clairvius Narcisse was sold to a zombie master by his brothers, because Clairvius refused to sell his share of the family land. Soon after Clairvius "officially" died, and was buried. However, he had been later secretly unburied, and was actually working as a zombie slave on a sugar plantation with many other zombies. In 1964, his zombie master died, and he wandered across the island in a psychotic daze for the next 16 years. The drugs that made him psychotic were gradually wearing off. In 1980, he accidentally stumbled across his long-lost sister in a market place, and recognized her. She didn't recognise him, but he identified himself to her by telling her early childhood experiences that only he could possibly know.

Dr. Wade Davis, an ethnobiologist from Harvard, went to Haiti to research this story. He discovered how to make a zombie. First, make them "dead", then make them "mad" so that their minds are malleable. Often, a local "witch doctor" secretly gives them the drugs.

He made the victim "dead" with a mixture of toad skin and puffer fish. You can put it in their food, or rub it on their skin, especially the soft, undamaged skin on the inside of the arm near the elbow. The victims soon appear dead, with an incredibly slow breath, and an incredibly slow and faint heartbeat. In Haiti, people are buried very soon after death, because the heat and the lack of refrigeration makes the bodies decay very rapidly. This suits the zombie-making process. You have to dig them up within eight hours of the burial, or else they'll die of asphyxiation.

Most surfers in the Yay area are zombies by the looks of it in the line up. The "I'm surfing damnit" scowl face. The slowly bobing zombie longboard masses. WTF.

Friend #1- I use ipowerweb which has worked out pretty well.

pretty fun out there right now....if you can find the right peak.

New world record set in So Cal

=======================================

Okay guys...just putting out the word that our band is playing
at the Red Devil Lounge tonight. We're often said to be a cross
between Jack Johnson & Sublime. Feel free to swing on out, we
start promptly at 9:00!

http:www.bagoftoysmusic.com

Cheers!

=======================================

jimmie wait...do you know the history of psychiatry? Do you? Because I do know the history of psychiatry!

What I do not understand is people who complain about crowds and fashion and all the bullshit and then get online and talk surf and wonder why a guy from such and such a place wears a such and such shirt. What the fuck do you think is going to happen? All I know is, I got some kick ass surf about ten days ago at same place I got some kick ass surf about 25 years ago. The solution to the outside is in the inside. Inside feels dead=outside seems dead.

"surf to live
live to surf"

Herb,
Depending on your weight try 6-4 to 6-8 rounded pin thruster. It is hard to find thicker 1980-1990 style thrusters but the thickness does not affect the ability to carve if you find the sweet spot on the board.Thicker boards catch more waves specially off season. more waves=more practice carving turns etc......
Dont ride the longer boards unless you are surfing knee high or double OH.

a good surfer can carve on any board.

Its nearly WSP time up in Tahoe. Shoot me an email at trautster@hotmail.com if ya want to meet up before/after the show. (kookdom, OBSurfer - that means you :)

The dead are gone, phish sucks -Time to PANIC!!

Herb, I'd keep the 7'6" funboard and master it. If it's Michel Junod, it's probably a sweet board. I'll bet it's easier to paddle and catch waves with. Plus, you can probably sit a little further outside. Of course, there is the difficulty of duck diving it. I often ride a 7'8" funboard hybrid. I love it 'cept when I can't duck dive it. If the problem is with the take-off where the waves are too steep, you (1) will learn the art of the steep drop, or (2) you shouldn't be out in the water at that location. A shorter board will help you with your balance problems. Once you've floundered on a shorter one for a while, the larger board will feel more stable.

nice zombie history. ok, who wants to volunteer as a test subject?!

back in college i had a voodoo priest roommate for a couple weeks. i got sick and he performed a healing ritual on me. shit didn't work but it was a wacky experience. a few days later he stole my bicycle and sold it for crack. and got arrested. then the cops came by and told me some CRAZY stories about the dude. fuck voodoo.

there's a voodoo shop on valencia at 19th. eerie vibes in there...

score one for the natives. nice one web.

After waiting forever, it's in da house... 5'10" summertime pixie stick. Seems fairly fast, gets in waves nicely (its got a pretty wide tail template) and super-fucking hella light. I got it before Stretch raised the prices to CI/Evolution levels.

3to5setsof7... "My beach, my chicks, my waves... go home." Oh, wait... I'm a trannie... doh!

friend #1 if you want something like http://www.a-framemag.com/yournamehere i'll host it for you. i use dreamhost as well, pretty kickass but their webmail server lags.

web...you make no sense

Friend #1... I have a 1and1.com account. I'm fine with their service, but a lot of folks don't seem to like them much.

RZA-

Please do not refer to yoruba religion and the shop on 19th as voodoo.

In fact you should apologize, lest I familiarize myself with your face and revoke your mission pass or force you to move.

dano,
you must have come across one of my old mix tapes.
how's the older epoxy stretch holding up? it's not s t r e t c h i n g is it? i'm thinking about getting one.

gb
Shoulder impingment sucks for obviuos reasons.I suffered an impingement of the supraspinatus in my right shoulder about 2 years ago.Too many large thick waves holding on to the board at our local beach.
1.Try some of the shoulder exersizes at exrx.net.
2.If you have insurance get an mri and 2nd or third opinion before surgery.
3.Seek out a good phyisical therapist.
4. KEEP SURFING

Cannot wait to see le panique. Its been WAY too long. Only Greek, no Tahoe for me this year.

Saw Dave Chapelle last night at The Punchline. Probably the funniest guy on the planet. His opener, Doug Benson was on-fire too...for the burners in-here, he's part of the marijuanalogs - www.potshow.com. Also...guest appearance by Chris Tucker - he's funny, but better in movies than at stand-up.

3to5setsof7, yeah I found this old tape in the sand down by your double top secret trail.

The "older" stretch is holding up well. Besides the one ding I had to fix (care of a LBer... what a surprise), it's good as new. The "love handles" he puts in the deck frickin' rock. Never ever do your hands slip. And it too is hella-fucking, super-duper light. Oh, and not like a cork like negative-karma SurfTech crap. I recommend.

when's the next issue of a-frame coming out anyway? oy vey that's a good mag.
does everyone pee in their wetsuits? does anyone think it attracts sharks?

Light is the enemy of glide. Flail and wiggle all you want kiddies. Glide rules.

Thanks for all the hosting advice. I just got off the phone with my Cousin who will be setting up our page, and our last one was so small (like 3K) that he is happy to host it on his site. It would be basically like what bbr offered. And thank you bbr for that offer.

So anyway, Free is better than Cheap.

Also thanks for the well wishes, but Bagel I have to ask: "What about my the man?"

I heard that if you pee on your face and hair you're guaranteed not to get eaten by a shark. Try it next time you go out...you'll be pleasantly suprised.

I know every time I piss in my suit the set of the day arrives

Old F**k
you are correct.
my 45 lb 10 footer works great for the summer glide on the east side nice and thick no wetsuit required.

friend # 1, i just think its rad that you addopt, thats what i meant. cheers.

MCC still ruling.

i pee in my suit everytime. sharks shmarks.

I am physically unable to piss in my wetsuit. I've tried so many times and can't do it. My body won't let me or something...

i think i spelt adopt wrong..there you go and i might have spelt spelled wrong?

Glide, oh yes... that's like poo butt.

at sharky spots (un-named)I leave the water to pis especially in Sept and October

oh yeah with the old 45 pounder little wankers can drop in because it will not turn and has many sharp edges.

lets all surf for fun

peeing in your wetsuit will help you carve a funboard

forget the aggro bulls**T

I heard that some australian researchers found a statistical link to shark attacks and pissing in your suit. Makes sense. The shark can smell the urea probably like blood and use it to zero in on you. It probable does the same with sea lions and otherr marine mammals.

After I read that I always pee before a surf especially at those north coast reefs.

Ride the 10 footer, no wettie, head stand, pee, hopefully it lands on face and hands.

"jimmie wait...do you know the history of psychiatry? Do you? Because I do know the history of psychiatry!"

Posted by: tom on June 30, 2005 12:53 PM

Took me a minute ... but, finally, I got it.
I think you need to go back to your old publicist, "Tom" - or switch to decaf! ;)

NICENESS RULES

dano, you didn't find my proto pipe did you......?
stretch claimed they float a bit better than polyester boards, did you notice that or compensate by going thinner?

At the far northern reef spots I hope no one in the lineup pisses in their suit. Sharks can detect a very small change in scent and may come to check it out.
Also some of my freinds wives/partners will not surf at all during menstral period. Very smart way to stay alive.

I try to delude myself into thinking that all the Peet's coffee in my pee will repel mr. sharky... wishful thinking.

the pizza was great, thanks for asking. i had artichoke chicken pesto on thick crust. had to search for awhile to find that in NY though. wiped the grease off on my new bildabong t-shirt.

web, your post hit the nail on the head.

pee pee is not the answer...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5560773

pez, in addition to yoruba, that shop also caters to practitioners of santeria and vodun - both of which are related to voodoo.

Zombies and piss, what a blog today....

;^)
-MM

>pee pee is not the answer...
>
>http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5560773

that guy's got a weird dick.

I don't practice Santeria
I ain't got no crystal ball
Well I had a million dollars but I, I'd spend it all
If I could find that heina and that sancho that she'd found
Well I'd pop a cap in sancho and I'd slap her down.

Bagel -

Just joshing. I remember a graffiti dialogue in student housing where one side got pissed and wrote "YOUR A FUCKUP!!!!!" as a rebuttal to someone's point, and the reply was "What about my a fuckup?"

Worked like a charm as the respondent went about as apoplectic as is possible with a felt tip pen in a bathroom stall.

Hmmmmm, maybe I went to school with the Grammer Nazi?

did someone say something about pizza?

Mmmmmm.

You should go meet this beautiful old man, a noble hero, pizza deity. For 40 years he has hand sliced every piece of incredible cheese which is combined with his transcendent sauce and paper thin crust to create a culinary symphony of unequaled delight.

we go surfing together sometimes

only a few more months until winter?

Too many words today, not enough skin. Enough is enough.....

I guess I am the only sane one left!

Oh wait, I got some pie!

#1,
*whoosh*
(the sound of my hand in in a salut-y type position being passed swiftly above my head in a front to back manner)

the wording did seem a little weird but didnt catch it. thanks for the explo. thats australian for exlanation.

i need my own spelling nazi i think.

kaiser,
its about time

Bagel, exlanation?

haha, just givin' you shit. Yeah, thought that is where they were fighting at.

kaiser, i'll take a slice. hell, i'll take the whole pie and split it with you.

http://money.cnn.com/popups/2005/goodlife/beers/content.1.html

Is that Anita Cocktail in the pink and black?

nah-uh

anita (on the left) plays bass

holy crap, whats happening?

surfing

They are coming!!!!!!!!

i think that chick in the pink and black and the new catcher for the yankmees?? she's got the leg guard things going on, and looks like she's giving the sign for the screwball low and inside.

mmmm, baseball. mmmm, surfing. mmmm, girls.

gb,

Start stretching, practice good posture, get a massage therapist to work on your shoulder, and do some resistance training for your back. I started doing all of the above and, for the first time since February, I can finally lift my right arm over my head without pain.

Also, check out surfitness.com for a good exercise manual.

It's not goth but he's got black hair and a guitaaaaar

Rad beer link, j. Ask caveman about that site...

it was not me who wrote the psychiatry post to jimmie.

but i have a question for 3 to 5 and j? do you cheerlead for web with panties on or without.

and web.....pirates are only in the movies.

stick a sword in it. or a hook, captain....

http://www.craigslist.org/sfc/zip/81625740.html

At sea, in pursuit of the shark, will he escape pirates and mutiny, forge the bonds of fatherhood, place his arm around his wife, find the monster of the deep, re-establish box office hegemony, and discover a reason to smile?

Story being that sharks track down rookeries by urine smell, but I think seals have more concentrated piss than humans as they are made to live in a hypertonic solution, i.e. the osmotic transport that makes your fingers wrinkly tends to dehydrate them, so they let out less water in their pee. That's just George Costanza fake-marine biologist talk; I'm know nothing about seal piss.

Google research indicates: shark hunters mix pee in with the blood, smell might be secondary to hearing/motion dection, sharks themselves have no urinary track and piss through their skin, and finally, chicks that like to be pissed on aren't very hot.

who the hell has this problem like i? i am gonna try this out...

its the electric chair for them rodents!

time for chixs!

'bout time we had a sister!

tom,
i'm a "free baller" at heart so i wear crotchless panties. i just adore lace y'know.
over and out for a skate session.

Speaking of sisters, these are the Hooter's sisters. They are from Calgary. If you want to know more about Calgard and the sisters, you have to ask CK....

mommie

Damn, I hate it that I just keep getting older, and the girls I like keep staying the same age ;-)

I wish I was an old fucker doing porn.

I agree - "I do" LOL.

Kaiser, I love you

You wackos need surf, or Prozac, or some place away from the north winds. There were some marginal opportunities along PCH this evening on my way from SF to SC. GWC looked best.

Kaiser, I also love you, but you should probably have an electronic bracelet on your ankle. I'll call your significant other and let her know.

well we don't need no one to tell us what to do
oh yes we're on our own
and there's nothing you can do
so we don't need no one like you
to tell us what to do

All Hail Kaiser Sose!

Gawd bless the Ladies!