E's Surf Report

Jeez 3 to 5, yours is a LOT bigger than mine!

3to5 - that image is cool.

fuck yeah Kaiser posted some art! rusty metal art at that.

holy shit this album rawks.

Colonel Claypool's Bucket of Bernie Brains

I was ruling the Peak at Sloat this morning....just was getting slotted and pitted at will.

No, the guy ruling the Peak there was the one who took me seriously when I said it was epic conditions and replied, "Yeah, it's so smooth, especially for Ocean Beach!" He and his buddy were so stoked to finally be able to surf OB; it made my morning.

Yeah! Fuckin' rockin' waves this morn down here. Stoked! Never got so many good long rides. Rights and lefts. Glassy conditions. What?

Ocean Beach....intimidating even at 2 foot.

Lefthand Pointbreaks and Supermodels.......pics please.

here ya go

e, last two shots chicama?

danke, we have a lot in common....

Love this album:

Bodega Bay
D0|24N B34CH

I feel like a starving Homer Simpson looking at those pics.......cheesebuuuurrrrrger.

Nice pic of Doran Park. To bad its not like that the other 364 days of the year. I remember playing golf at Bodega Dunes golf course and seeing a great white just nail a seal in the bay not to far off the beach. Ive never been back since. Besides the water is to friggen cold up there, worse than Oregon.

All hail pointbreaks and Kaiser Sose.

i do not recommend the 3 sope special if you're trying to accomplish anything today.

j,
where did you go. i'm starving and done with meetings.

WOW, I just dropped the Torta/Sope combo. I got a fresh batch brewing in the break room. I'll be in my office in 20-30 mins, no question.

I nearly snorted seawater overhearing the epic conditions conversation this morning. Fun peeps to surf with. However I think we were the coolest surfers for yelling "OUTSIDE!!!" when a 2 ft set loomed on the horizon. Good times.

"when a 2 foot set looomed on the Horizon"

reminds me of caddy shack: "I dont think the heavy stuff is gonna come down for awhile"

Shark sighting this am - well, ah SS sharkbait sighting - I saw you cruising to the beach the last two mornings as I was having breakfast.

whatup niceness -
thanks for posting the prankstertees.com link yesterday e, and for the props kaiser, mwsf, and co.

business is off to a slow start, but it's been fun to put together with some of my amigos.

33 days until Sept. 1st!!!!!!

i just dropped a kaiser and wiped my j

The ironic part is that summer has been really shitty for wind, too, after having bought all my kite gear. Now that I got that Coleman raft, I'm predicting that the rest of the summer will be bad for air.

I don't get it...

Kai·ser
Any of the emperors of the Holy Roman Empire (962-1806), of Austria (1806-1918), or of Germany (1871-1918).
Used as the title for such a man.

j1 or J
The tenth letter of the modern English alphabet.
Any of the speech sounds represented by the letter j.
The tenth in a series.

3to5 - there's a place over here on bay that's decent. 'mi hacienda' i believe it's called. they have a few more locations around, but if it's still open i recommend 'main street' up on your side of RWC.

wiped your j and dropped a kaiser? you can j-off, but i don't think you can wipe your j.

j.o.c. what's the turn on your t's? im rollin to orygun next thursday PM, if i order now will it be in before?

ss sharkbait I too love to yell "outside" on the small days just ta watch the summa surfas scramble."Coming Down" is also one of my favorites on a knee high day.Ha
Thank God Fall is almost here. Hope you are all getting wet.
Time to spark a j with my Kaiser.

is there a swell coming in tonight? say at like 5:30?

took some good photos last weekend but not for the internet sorry I will show you next time

toneman - excellent use of j and kaiser in a sentence

bagel looks like youll have some chop to ride anyway

thanks j
Mr. Earl Eagrow rules
gets me thruogh the summer.

smoke a j then eat a Kaiser roll.

....j-bay and a Kaiser roll sandwich.....

Um, my I make a recommendation at least as far as my name is concerned?

Thank You,

The Management

Accordingly, we have updated our marketing program as one might expect.

Once Again,

The Management

A caged community of chimpanzees reacts very sensitively if a member of the tribe has received LSD. Even though no changes appear in this single animal, the whole cage gets in an uproar because the LSD chimpanzee no longer observes the laws of its finely coordinated hierarchic tribal order.
Of the remaining animal species on which LSD was tested, only aquarium fish and spiders need be mentioned here. In the fish, unusual swimming postures were observed, and in the spiders, alterations in web building were apparently produced by LSD. At very low optimum doses the webs were even better proportioned and more exactly built than normally: however, with higher doses, the webs were badly and rudimentarily made.

i was able to have fun this morning. just kept reminding myself that it would have been an epic day in south carolina and this tranny is stoked. seems like some of the bars are in pretty good shape for when we do get some clean swell.

just checked out the u.s. open website. i think the site kinda sucks, but some interesting results. carissa moore is blowing her way through the opening rounds and some aussie, Jock Barnes, beat andy irons in a heat. seems like this contest conflicts with the x-games in puerto, no?

limey brit version of kaiser (chiefs)

dropped a shit and wiped my asshole

planning a southern road trip this weekend and sent a note to my brother in san diego to meet up mid-state for a knee slapper session. his response .....

"bummer....signed up to work the REEF booth on Sat. at the US Open...huntington girls...Oy!"

maybe I'll drive a little farther down the coast than i had intended

mig. take a camera and report back to us please!

This is funny. I didn't realize that you can understand people's typing style or the like until just now.

I dare you to drop me, I fucking dare you to do it.

I am gonna go smoke a J with your buddy J.

and we're also gonna play golf, which most of you think is gay, but hey that's OK

True.

http://www.surfline.com/video/vids/2005/july/jsps/puerto1_dl_qt.cfm

Trolls who don't know Kaiser will be very disappointed. He's a wonderful guy with a great sense of humor and a good husband and dad. Too bad he has a weakness for bikini butts and late drops on big waves.

OK, the butts are kinda' fun.

HI TOM!!!

Kaiser got snaked by softtop lifeguard dude on a sweet left late afternoon last fall. This particularly travesty marked the beginning of the beloved dune/seawall transition from closeout nation to peeling, hollow infatuation station.

All hail the harbinger of Fall! His snaking has been foretold by the sand-covered buttocks of the divine Wicked Weaseless!

sorry for the late reply, j, i'll repost tomorrow, but if you see this, the turnaround on the shirts is really fast! they are coming from CA so the priority mail option is 2-3 mail days. you could order it monday and have it by wednesday... if you order on friday, no doubt!

mi casa es su casa! (no tengo casa)

Dear Coleman Customer Service Representative;

I would like to lodge a formal complaint against the Navigator 2-Person Inflatable
Raft. To understand the significance of this complaint, I must tell the entire story from the beginning.

When I saw her on the shelf at Target, I knew she was a fine raft. Not just seaworthy, but something special. "The sea will never take her" I told to the cashier who was compelled to stop chewing her gum as she nodded in agreement: speechless. But such a fine vessel does not belong in a box, so I brought her to the shore to gaze upon the open ocean which would one day be her playground.

Although my intention was just to admire the ocean, the conditions were aboslutely perfect for her maiden voyage. The call of the ocean was strong. The deepest blue swells lapped languidly against the shore, beconing a sailor and to inflate his raft and seek adventure. While not a shipwright by trade, I felt a bond with the raft and my hands worked on their own, with no conscious thought, to busy the task of inflating her. The bellows sucked in the sweet salty air, and like Pygmalian gave life to the beautiful raft. Her double valves secured the air as she sat proudly in the sand glistening in the sun.. Such a mighty raft was she, I had admire her and say once again, "the sea will never take her." And I felt as strong, like a part of me had been also inflated.

And looking out to the ocean, I new she was ready to taste the ocean. I pulled her to the water's edge and it seemed as if the tide came up to meet us. An energy that dates back to the Phoencians ran through as the raft met the sea, and I shoved off. A fresh breeze blew through my hair as the Coleman navigator helped me feel the freedom of the sea and inflate my spirit. The rolling swell rocked me gently and I began to doze, for how long I know not. Time does not seem to exisit in such pleasantness. But little did I know that while I slept, Posiden must have spotted my vessel from below. Whether I did not properly seek passage of his oceans, the capriciousness of the gods or simply his covertness of such an artful raft, I shall never know for sure. The god of the seas wanted my raft.

I awoke from my slumber just as the clouds (for thieves always prefer darkness), started to blot out the sun. The fog's fingers seemed to clasp tightly my bones and chill them like winter's darkest night. The fresh breeze was building, not just in speed, but I swear the very air became thicker. And the waves built up all around me until I could see water above me in every direction. I scarcely had time to take the helm before the first wave crashed over the bow, drenching me in freezing water. Every droplet of spray felt like spikes against my bare flesh. I felt the vessel floudering, and I knew I had to bail out the bilges. But it was the following wave, as always, that struck the raft the hardest. She rolled on her starboard side, and I scrambeled up the rigging, barely keeping her from capsizing. As the wave passed, she righted, but with such force I was thrown clear from my perch. I managed to grab onto the tow rope, with a clasp that had more strength than I knew I had.

As I hung half overboard, I could feel a tugging upon my leg. Surely it was the bony fingers of long dead pirates and mutineers, sent by their eternal master to fetch my raft. "The sea will never take her." I screamed out, partly as a warning, and partly out of madness. As the cursed dead gathered in greater numbers to pull me to the sea floor, they began to pull the whole vessel down as my clutch held fast. Their number had become so great, they hung from me as a great ball dragging the vessel and me to a watery grave. I would not let go, but the tow bit finally gave way. Impotentely holding the line no longer fixed to the bitt, I took a final breath and looked up to the sky determined to view it again.

But then suddenly the sky was blotted out, not by the water, but by a great leaping sea monster. It was larger than any vessel, larger than any fleet, bearing great poision fangs and blood red eyes that flashed in the darkness. Truly, I knew, it was my time to go, and shoved off of the raft that the ghosts must swim that much more to get her. The seamonster devoured the great lot of them, first scores in great mass, then the individuals that tried to escape. And though they each scarcely made a meal, the monster ate such a great multitude that the beast could not feed anymore. And though several of the ghosts remain, they dare not approach me with their numbers so greatly reduced. I swam up to the surface and from the top of the largest pitching wave, I spied the raft. Slidding down the face of the wave (it took a count of 20 the wave was so large), I landed right into the center of the raft.

Seeing my skill as a sailor and a solider must have disheartened old Neptune; the seas soon abated. The fearsome gale turned into a trade wind that blew me toward safe harbor. And upon reaching the shallows, I stepped off of the raft knowing my ordeal was over. And on the beach to greet me was a small child with a plastic pail and shovel. I looked at child, who could clearly see the majesty in my walk, the power one can only receive after such an ordeal, and I said "The sea could not take her."

So as my story clearly demonstrates, the tow bit on the front of the raft is very weak and should be either strengthed or clearly marked. The entire main bladder of the raft ruptured when the tow bit came off. I hope in the future Coleman can improve their products to meet recreational demands. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Andrew

A new master seabard is born. Farking classic.

Reply to: anon-87630583@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-07-28, 10:32PM PDT

I had my 6'6" Goin blue egg stolen in the last few days, Future system, red fiberglass Rainbow fins. Help me find the bastard who stole the board from my truck and I'll give you $50. It doesn't seem like much but the board meant a lot to me and you will be repaid in Karma forever. Board has a yellow stripe on deck, blue and yellow board