E's Surf Report

fist ports

Hot linking to C&L, for Zappa, just redirects you to the homepage. The actual post link so you don't have to search.

thanks, i made the change to the link above.

great story e.. i really needed a good laugh today.. thanks

That Zappa clip is great. And everyone knows a tool like that Lofton guy. Oh well, off to find a sandbar. Not working rules!

thanks for the yarn e, sounds like those poser weenies are hunting life for a serious beat down.

What does any of this mean?

Congratulations e, that was perhaps the most hateful thing I've ever read on here. Although you claim it's all fiction your intentions are blatantly inflammatory.

In case you missed it the first time around :

Hypocrisy is the act of pretending to have morals or virtues that one does not truly possess or practice. The word derives from the late Latin hypocrisis and Greek hupokrisis both meaning play-acting or pretence. The word is arguably derived from hypo- meaning under, + krinein meaning to decide/to dispute. A classic example of a hypocritical act is to denounce another for carrying out some action while carrying out the same action oneself.

i ditched school to go surfing at my local way nor cal beach break, it was the best day ive seen all year and i was kinda nervous because of the bigger outside set waves that i had to turtle under. yeek. but the waves were fucking nice, peaked up in nice A frames and broke hella slow then it would kinda barrel for a minute even if the way was better, fuckin crazy shit for this beach. hella stoked, i got home and smoked some weed and took a shower and now im just chillin. Good shit, fuck school i gotta do 4 math assignments by friday. god damnikt

FO-

If E's lead-in is indeed "the most hateful thing you have ever read on here",

you don't read this blog very often.

I think E was getting tired of people not commenting on his whole Harmony Studio's series, after the initial "I googled that band name, and I couldn't find anything, what's the id of their site..." confusion.

Well, after reading the Fuck Off post, I had to read e's fictional short story. Pretty entertaining read.

I still don't get the hypocrisy line, nor the hateful statement.

nice story e...also present with the type of people described is the "yeeah, i don't need to practice or learn music theory, because i am inspired; god whispers directly into my ear" type of arrogance

they sound rad. links to MP3's? pron site for his mom? number of their connection?

i like these character studys e keep it up yo's.

ditto. Let's have a piece on the owner and his engineering guy.

i'm a demo but orin hatch has got some game.

e - Does Adam have blond hair and go by the name Simon?

Back when their monopolistic behavior was at a somewhat higher profile, it was Sen. Hatch who suggested that Microsoft should use
"Under My Thumb" as the Windows95 launch theme instead of "Start Me Up".
Bad man with good sense of humor.

Nice piece, e. Nice etemology lesseon, F-off.

Brian, you gotta lay off the weed until your 3rd or 4th year of junior college. You gotta wait for the cement in your brain to harden and your brain starts on it's natural, long slow dying process. Try not to mess with it too much when its still growing.

Is simon the guy that always has a really dumb look on his face? like dopey even? and cant really surf?

e - I've been enjoying all the Harmony Studios stuff. This last one is especially entertaining.

Fuck Off !! - Which references inflamed you the most? Monster trucks? Pit-Bulls? Cowardly -homophobic-speedfreak-momma's boys?

Transportation issues have continued to keep me in drydock. I've actually began to twitch at the end of the day. Withdrawal convulions can't be far off. It's Wednesday; should I call John Schultz and see if my new board is ready?

thanks for the comments. Yeah.. The harmony studios vignettes are just characters from the top of my head. Not trying to be nice or not-nice or moralistic or anything.. just putting it out there. I guess the Adam character was just a composite of many folks i've observed mostly in the surf world but a little bit in the music world too.

Please don't beat me up.

Does anyone surf anymore?

Or do you all just sit around talking about Apple computers, where to go to law school, whether E is a dick/hypocrite or whether you think you know BVB?

bouys: 8.3 @ 15 sec.
Winds: Currently W under 10 kts.
Tide: High tide this morning
Forecast: Swell dropping a bit before it comes up on Saturday with the rain.

Let's start kickin it old skool around here and get some surf chatter on THE SURF BLOG!

Wow. I wish I could spew like the author does. Simon fer sure but why E? Why?
I'm staying away from this board - the depth of psychological and social dysfunction are running rampant. I don't know who anyone is; it's like talking to a wall most of the time - bouncing thoughts off my own padded cell.
Kaiser - that lady last night. She looks way too familiar. Good luck with your porblems guys!

LATES

The H.S. series has been a good change of pace.

I think you should have mentioned how Adam is always saying how he "owns" people when he is beating on them though.

but is this blog about surf, or surfers?

I think that E is not hateful, he just wants surfing to be fair and kind, unlike the way it is. Claiming entitlement with the real threat to kick the living shit out of those who get in the way is a great crowd control method. Too bad johnny law just turns his cheek and says punch away, its only illegal if you get prosecuted. Why can't all meek and meager surfers say, go ahead and kick my ass, you will end up in jail and I will end up on the peak taking your waves. Lets do it, the meek shall inherit the earth. given about another millenium then it will be too late for me to score a cool barrell at Eddies, fullers, Dume, etc.
Stinky stinkeye for stinkeyes sake is stinky. Now lets have some Sake and get along. I'm through complaining about angry people policing the water. I guess its cool for threatening people to have the beautiful waves they are entitled to. The meek shall not inherit the peak. They can have the mush, the slush, and the bums rush.

I don't even know who Simon is.??

Spent last week in San Diego. Closed out at most beach breaks but one was really clean. Reminded me of our OB with the current and tough paddle -- overhead, 4 rows of whitewater. But then it was also warm, no wind, glassy barrels... why do I live here?

Heard it was raining up here. Sorry. Is this still a surf blog?

good question Personal Water Craft

oh no! bvb is threatening to not read the blog anymore! again!

Just got back from a month in Peru. Not one day of this aggro bs I'm reading on the blog. And not one day of surf under 6 feet. Really great time. What's wrong with you guys, don't you enjoy surfing anymore. Quite whining and enjoy this sport that we are lucky to take part in.
As I've been away for a while, maybe this has already been brought up.... but with the absense of Clark foam, what's the next step? I found these boards made of bamboo. Any thoughts or experience with such? http://www.bamboosurfboards.com.au/

Jimmie, John Schultze is probably not there today anyway, and even if he was you already know the answer to the question. Here's the tip. When a shaper finishes the board and brings it into the shop, he calls you BECAUSE HE WANTS HIS MONEY. Without fail. Until then, no more than a weekly reminder is appropriate. What's is really funny are the peeps who call every week for months until their board is done, and then make John wait a few months to pick it up. Turnabout. I think the Adam from Harmony studios is half Adam, the ballerina's boyfriend, and half Simon, the Hearst-fortune-inheriting spoiled brat. Great stuff this Harmony Studios fiction!

Inokea - sure you know folks, you just might not be able to see 'em. That padded cell is in your/our own head.

surf surf surf

kaiser - again please

kaiser - again please

per Kaiser's suggestion....

i ditched work yesterday and went down to santa cruz with my brother. my brother had to pick up a new set of M10 boards (4!!) for his hawaii trip. bastard. i added myself to the 120 already in line for a custom board. jesus.

i surfed a reef just north of the lane that was fully firing. overhead rights just peeling down the reef with pitching barrels and steep walls. behind the pros, rippers, chicks, and a couple of 12 year olds, i firmly established myself in the pecking order. stoked and humbled. it was a beautiful day.

e, man you get a break. you put it out thier and get slammed again. Dude, if you ever want to quit coding your thick skin could go far in sales.

Nice bottom turn.....

how could peru be 6'+ for a month in the middle of summer?

Anonymous - (in the most irritating whine you can imagine) but John SAID it would be done on Wednesday. Actually, my question was facetious. I've been getting boards from John for long enough to know that there is an inverse correlation between the number of calls one makes inquiring about the progress of one's order and the rapidity with which said order is completed.
On an unrelated topic: I heard a rumor that Harold Walker and Grubby Clark took a trip to China together a couple of months before Clark pulled the plug on everybody. Supposedly Clark passed along some important proprietary info to Walker and his people in China and may have even passed on some equipment (specialty molds, etc.) to Walker. Pure scuttle-butt; interesting nonetheless. If it's true high quality blanks should continue to flow without too much of a delay.

The original sport of kings has been replaced by jesters. only the aggro get their choice of waves, to the rest of us, well we get the scraps, not the behind the tube take offs that everyone deserves a chance or two at. But whatever, I quit surfing because of my inability to see the fun in fighting over peaks, you just don't get enough of a workout anyway, unless its firing, and then I still surf, if that makes sense. Plus I know something that noone else does, which enables me to get so many perfect waves that complaining about crowding is not really my thing, just like to hear my voice on this blahg, and see what the market will bear, and to support E, who I did not used to like because of exposure issues, then I realized that back in the 80s I was getting intimidated off of the peaks I liked, so what has he done to ruin it? He just shares the stoke, and maybe a bunch of females who I can outpaddle will join the ranks eventually and I will again rank higher in the pecker order. so gloatingly anonomously asking for it, Mike

Peru was over 6' most of the month in the North. South sucked, but North ROCKED! Explore punks!

The original sport of kings has been replaced by jesters. only the aggro get their choice of waves, to the rest of us, well we get the scraps, not the behind the tube take offs that everyone deserves a chance or two at. But whatever, I quit surfing because of my inability to see the fun in fighting over peaks, you just don't get enough of a workout anyway, unless its firing, and then I still surf, if that makes sense. Plus I know something that noone else does, which enables me to get so many perfect waves that complaining about crowding is not really my thing, just like to hear my voice on this blahg, and see what the market will bear, and to support E, who I did not used to like because of exposure issues, then I realized that back in the 80s I was getting intimidated off of the peaks I liked, so what has he done to ruin it? He just shares the stoke, and maybe a bunch of females who I can outpaddle will join the ranks eventually and I will again rank higher in the pecker order. so gloatingly anonomously asking for it, Mike

Grubby was a frickin genius at making good PU foam, that is true. But he was competitive to the core, and would deny blanks to shapers that also used Walker foam. The formulas he used on blanks were proprietary and secrets, and worth hundreds of thousands alone. And his anal retentiveness about the legal ramifications of people using his designs and equipment are what caused his to destroy his factory instead of selling it. I doubt he helped Walker. OTOH, he did return plugs to some of the shapers that made his blank designs. I would expect Walker to be far behind Clark, especially on high quality ultra light PU foam. And perfectly usable on the heavier longboard foam that is easier to blow. So for a surfer like you, Jimmie, probably no worries. The anarchist may have to switch to EPS boards. ;)

sorry for exposure issues related this site Mike. I really feel bad about that and cringe when reading many of my old (and not so old) posts.
Sorry to all the folks that always knew that vague is vogue.

I was and continue to be a total kook.

Are you KIDDING ME! The Anarchist will NEVER RIDE AN EPS BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He'd rather move to Utah and start campaigning for Orrin Hatch!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a nice day, brother Dave. :)

Some pics I took in Kauai around New Years

Kauai has tons of super good waves. The best sandbars are not accessible by most, though.

i think the island life might suit me. just read that Joel Tudor article in water mag. the guy is pretty pumped.

surboard technology sucks.
the materials are either 70s era technology or mass produced crap. I want something light and that is hard to damage and if it is damaged - can be reliabily repaired to its original integrity.

that last Kauai pick looks fun!

That last pic was actually the shore break - outside was huge.

E, I wish more people had the humble and humorous attitude about life and surfing that you do.

I find it is much easier to snake people while humbly smiling, laughing and telling jokes.

PNW-Are you from the PNW?

Hey, wow, i wish sc was 6' all summer -aka- i need a geography course, look at a map of Peru.

now. now. no naming. but yes. summer house in SC. I mean the place south of the place where you all are so uptight about naming.

Where? I only ask because I spent my summers on the Northern Oregon coast.

I am a friend of Juan De Fuca.

Gotcha

trickydicky-
a small portion of N peru faces north. during their summer they rely on N swells. The rest of peru faces south and should be shadowed from these swells from the opposite hemispere

SC faces south. during our summer we rely on S swells. The rest of nocal coast faces north and is shadowed from these swells from the opposite hemispere

N peru and SC are analogous but SC is not 6' all summer. or i guess the s. pacific is more active in their summer than the n. pacific is active in our summer.

what are you trying to say?

I enjoyed the nooks and crannies of JDF in my past. PNW are you a Mervin mfg dude?

no. but those two guys are cool. good ethics.

not only are they ethical and environmentally responsible but thier skateboard decks rule.

nooks and crannies has been going off lately.

kooks and their grannies have been going off lately.

I can imagine. of course it's gotten crowded up there too. farking issaquah kooks. hey is gravity sports in renton still around? the owner was very gracious to me with the local 411 when i moved there many moons ago.

No hard feelings from me, e. I am over the spot naming, just my feelings got real hurt when I say my favorite spot being named every so often. But reality is that this spot is an hour from everywhere and never will suffer from overcrowdedness if you can read a bouy box and go during off times when its glassy, oops. Everything E!
1 E-ast coast mentality dies hard
2 E-xcellent prose.
3 E-xciting writeups of current and past swells
4 E-ggceptional sensitivity to feedback
5 E-ffing committment to supplying current feedback interchange
6 E-nvironmentalist
7 E-gg headed kook (aren't we all)
8 E-xceptional content and pics keeps a steady flow of comments from the masses, which keeps me coming back whether or not I like what E writes, E is obviously thought provoking/ props for that.
9 E is cool. We could all learn from him as I am sure he learns from his posting jesters interspersed with kings, or else he would be long gone for the abuse.

Dont worry about naming spots, its not that, its dickhead surfers' selfishness that spoil and crowd the lineups. I will never acheive shit by posting on blogs, I am sure, but how about a more (for lack of a better stereotype)British approach to giving waves. "No, I insist, after you. No no, its your turn. Oh look, here comes a newbie. Lets show him where the rocks are, where to sit, and where to paddle if a big set comes. He will be sure to appreciate our local knowledge and never be a hog for our waves!"

Reality "Lets give this guy the stink eye, hope to see him thoroughly cleaned up, wax his windows with >, slash his tires, break his windows, mumble things under our breath in his general direction, if that doesn't work tell him outright to split and never come back. How dare him park his car in the locals' (albeit public) lot, and not expect wax and airless tires upon his return. Only in America I think. This shit ought to be illegal, it borders on assault on a regular basis and crosses the line more often than those who have felt the humiliation are willing to report to the authorities.

I was once in New Zealand, surfers by and large did not treat fellow surfers like that there. It was still about a shared love of mother nature and her waves there, with more than enough stoke to go around with friendly locs showing us tourists around without fear of being threatened by more established older crew because they were friendly too.

I want out of this country, and not just because of mean surfing lineups, but that's another story which I am sure will be challenged because I should just change the things I don't like about America rather than bellyache on some blog.

But keep it up if you feel like it E

never been, but yes. ha ha, the quah.

How do you post pics?

Jimmie, there you go with your disingenuous insults again. Let's hope Max doesn't pick up any of your less endearing qualities.
Feel free to...

What would you do if you had 600k, no houses, or other assets besides a car, but a wife and two kids to bring up, no job either. Is it enough to sustain a minimalist family forever? Is 600k enough to drop off the face of America and live large enough elsewhere? Not too hot, not too cold, like goldilocks, and not too far from the beach? Inquiring minds want to know.

sc faces south, you are right- I was being snappy.

ok, im into the shot of the girl flipping me off.

anon with cash,
most financial advisor sleazebags say that if you make "safe" investments with the plan of living off of the income from these investments, you should be able to make about 6% a year off of the principle. Thats about $36,000 a year. I bet you there are lots of warm places where the living is easy and 36K a year will go pretty far.
If you willing to risk more of that money then invest in something with a higher risk/reward ratio and hope for the big payoff. Then you can definitely drop off the face of the earth

Bend, is that you Matt?

Bagel, your girlfriend needs to learn that's it's impolite to eat with your elbows on the table.

she never listens *sigh*

your girlfriend is 16?

Is this Simon a local of ---- ----- or --------? or neither?

Sunset tonight.

northern exposure in peru is more like southern exposure in mainland mex...not like SC...mainland mex can be 6 ft for weeks on end in our summer

US Mainland has a poor south swell window compared to mainland Mex. Cuts off around 120W, lose a lot of the relevant ocean.

Enjoy!!

Fuck Off !! - What disingenuous insults? I was not insulting anyone. I was just I just trying to figure out exactly what you found inflammatory about e's story. Honestly.

Now that you've made it apparent that you know who I am, who are YOU?

In any case, whatever beef you think got with me, let's hope you don't let it affect whatever relationship you have with my son. My less endearing qualities are all my own.

Niceness is cool

Yeah. Somebody on this blog called me stupid last week. But I got his IP address and I'm going over there this weekend to say hello. We'll see who's stupid then!

how can anybody be bitter about anything with boobs so close?

always interesting to see what tangent surfers go off on when they ain't getting their joneses. OB's pretty uncrowded these days - good, yes?

I am everywhere!

I dunno about surfing anymore. It's just not the rush it used to be. Anyone know of any good sex blogs? I like hooking up with lots of random girls from Craigslist and porking them without condoms. That's a rush.