E's Surf Report

We all come from corn. Literally. For those of you who
think it's pretty cool to tease and berate my new fin setup,
you'd better think again:

The above graph shows 30 million years of evolution
ending with the first animal with arms, Petrolacosaurus,
from our earliest known surfing ancestor, Brachyptergius,
more commonly refered to as Corn Cob Man.

I moved here to the midwest to take advantage of the
superb growing conditions and R & D opportunities.
Above left, field testing pre-beta versions. Early rocker
molds (above right) had a tendency to cavitate on heavy
bottom turns, back at the lab my team stayed up many
nights to figure out and nail this problem.

The moneyshot: business end of the new RFS v4.0, Test
riders have reported improved thrust, buttery carve ratios
and improved overall "water feel." Detail on right shows
the Channel Arc Matrix which allows one fin to hold like
three, while simultaneously reducing paddling drag.

Uh... where do we order up the new product?
Send link. The thought of a 'buttery' carve really gets my thrusters going...

that first post was the best since lewis dropped the dave eggers piece...

Darn nice photos matt! darn nice. thats a great shot of mavericks, half moon bay if thats where that last one is..

holy crap, is that first pic Devereaux?

Rad!

maybe thats not maaavs

that last shot is SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's too bad Cheney and Scalia don't go duck hunting together a bit more often.

I like corn. Corn is good.

Great morning of surf out there, literally no one out.
Great recap of E's surf this morning.
Great first post of the day - a classic if you will.

We are off to a nice start to the day! Looks like the long period stuff is showing up out there, just not real consistant at this point. Could be a fun weekend.

Yeah but it's a little creepy someone would put that mich effort in to their post? Especially when it ain't even your own website?

classic cobstah post!

http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/people/motani/profile.html

Looks like our stalkstah has an interest in dinosaurs and small furry animals, creepier than corn and rfs?

nice sunset vignette MSG

its creepy to entertain? why are you here? to be informed with facts and figures? do you not come here for entertainment? or are you just creepy?

Easy drop.

successful splunking of the cave of wave is the most elusive thing to me right now. i am really focused on it and still i don't know if i'll ever be able to really do it. i get myself right in the mouth of the wave fairly often and i can feel it breaking over the tail of my board. and then i am often inside and looking at that round opening, but never getting through it. oftentimes, i also shut my eyes as i pull in, like the kook i am, because how can i get out if i can't even see. does anyone know the secret to barrel riding? i know i need to set my rail and stay high, but not so high that I get spun. but it is really hard and i'm a dork. tomorrow...

Yep surfs gunnbe richter...
Call all your buds.

Nothing teaches tube technique like a single fin. tri's just dont stall that easily.

oh? you brokebacking him now? maybe we gonna have to call you the rapist.

Yep surfs gunnbe richter...
Call all your buds.

yay, cobstah! yay, e! yay people who bring stuff to the table.

occasional bigger sets now making it a little costly to stay inside for the other ones. spent a few seconds on the bottom, on my back, board on top of me, being ground into the sand.

good wave judgment, split-second timing, powerful paddle-in, quick pop-up. i'll take that to go, please.

wow...i studied mayan culture in college but until now never made the connection between the origin of man, surfing, and board development. this cobstah stuff is crazy!!

evidence:
The Maya elite shaped their childrens' skulls to resemble the Maize God's elongated head by tying two boards (these 'boards' must have been later used in the ocean) front and back against the infant's head.

and here's an early exploration of the coastline!

Creepy lurker creeping lurkers.

Thanks, snake.

The flu is going around. Different strain than the current vaccinations protect against. With the rain, cold weather, cold water, etc..., be careful of going out into the water. Big waves will be the last of your worries this weekend, but bacterial pneumonia may.

Hope I get over this damn flu by the weekend.

MY GO OUT AT LSOTA

Freeze ass off
Wet wetsuit
Smell of piss
Sand
Dirt Clod
People staring
Sand black
People black
Waves suck
Paddle out
Stink
More stink
Hail
Piss in suit. Swear to self
Hate self.
Ponder life
Land
Disneyland
Suburbia
This shit
..this fucking city
Paddle hard
Suck gas
Suck wind
Crumbly blown out trustycrustvegetarinmushburgers
Look toward Marin.
Smile
More Stink
Anger.
Biff Wad
Angle.
Eat it.
Hate life.

woke up late
at about noon
just thought that i had to be in compton soon
had to get drunk before the day begin's
before my mother starts bitching
about my friends

hahaha! That animated gif is hilarious.

Matt's pics look very familiar - going to say:
- da Hxxk
- then 3#xh
- then not Mavs

South winds blowing in Mont Bay...

Call your bro's.

http://www.pbase.com/chucklantz/image/44306698

great gif for sure. pizza!

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

holy shit i love that chuck norris stuff.

The wife and I appreciate your support, have a great
weekend everyone!

Bird, I missed the Eggers bit, where can I find it?

it must be a wacky educational adventure, being the wife of cobstha.

I thought Jeff Gordon invented pink?

who would win in a battle between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris?

your mom

ok, Chuck Norris fans, there are about 5000 more chuck norris facts here:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com

the chuck norris stuff is hands down some of the best ever posted here. despite the fact that it is plagiarized, unoriginal and already available with a few mouse clicks, it's still good.

boy scout troop 114 reprezent!!

to each is own I guess

As evidence, I give you...
and...

Clearly Chuck has thrown too many 1CNRhKs.

3to5 has a little too much free time on his hands...

it's kinda snowing in downtown SF right now.. at least a few flakes in the mix.

Offshore winds...at Candlestick Park. I better not see any tranny kooks at my secret spot. I just wish I didn't have to pay $18 for parking. Post-sesh tailgater.

anon, what on this board isnt available a few mouse clicks away?

E, are you at the top of the B of A building or something? It's just pissing rain outside my window down on Market St.

ditto, anon, it is a nasty rain, but i don't see no snow. would be cool though.

New for winter Olympics '06 : the over-the-falls lip launch. Kloo and I battled for supremacy, but I snagged the coveted gold thanks to the technically difficult board-straddlin', ass backwards huck, spin, soar-like-an-eagle, and crush. Felt like a flying icicle. Kloo wins the silver because he had the gall to land some drops.

Yes some very sporadic longer period sets. Damn I suck!

longboard heaven today......sorry guys

man, you gotta be effin' crazy to go surfing this weekend. Holy crap it's so cold out there right now!

my nipples are so hard, i could cut glass

too cold? no ASL for you!!!!!

Bad: No surf at lunch

Good: Beer at lunch.

Ugly: 3 more hours at work.

corn is the new porn

what the f*** is Devereaux?
Masshole?

Time for that big ol Friday splyff.

Woke at 5:30 AM

Dog Walk and then meet up Duncan at 6:00 AM. We opt to wait for Lunch. Check it at 11:30, it is blown, we opt for Toronado. A lamb Sausage and Three Barleywines later. Back to work. All this could be yours:

http://www.baaqmd.gov/hro/employment_ops/aqpermittech_va_021006.pdf

ATTENTION all Disaffected Techno-Geeks: Doof and I surf 100 sessions a year with this set up. More or less.

hey blakestah, cobstah is not me. it's funny though.

poverty wages

Friday Afternoon reading club....short piece of non-fiction as I've run outta fiction. I wanted to find Dave Parmenter's piece on Alaska, but Ben Marcus will do in a pinch.

South by Northwest

Sorry, I got my address wrong in the above post.

Friend #1 povery wages, with benefits, are better than mine. I'd be hitting it if I weren't going to school in the fall.

andrew loses his soul and becomes a lawyer.
not ASL.

what made you think it was 3to5 in the first place?

Angel Island off the scale today.

http://www.pbase.com/chucklantz/image/55770836

that's bad surfing on a bad wave but it ain't bvd

any thought on these for my next fin set-up?

Poverty wages maybe. An Air Quality Engineer Position will be opening in the next month or so. With Bene's works out to be around $100K/year. But the real bene is the 36 hours of Foating Holiday. That is 36 long Lunches or Late mornings plus the two weeks Vaca you already get. This on top of 13 holidays a year.

thanks for the job posts. keep posting those on here.

Nice shinguards in that still shot.

I've already pretty much ruined those black leather shoes with jizz stains. several times. oh wait, thats just on my screen.

Anyone know someone who works for CNET? If so, email me: lanceea at yahoo dot commie

This is probably twice what i make...man i need a career, but don't necessarily have the qualifications for that one. Useless social science degrees, crap.

why the fuck am i at work right now, the cams are kiiilllling me

..should have kept my eye on those stupid things..oh well its too cold anyway

3t05, you are a shitty liar.

what cams are you talkin about? it doesn't look that great out there.

dayum, 3to5, you just dont KNOW! they had your # all along! E and B are like bed-mates, you didn't know? looks like you on someone's shit list now! weeeee!!!!

i smell foul play

is that what that stench is?

anyone else participating in the surf rescue and cpr take 2 class? see y'all there....

surf afterwards? (was gonna try and double dip, surf before AND after, but a cold wet wetsuit prior to the water portion of the class sounds like no fun)

ahhhhhh

jerk

btown and anyone else in that surf/cpr class: wear as much neaoprene as you can stand. A ridiculous amount. The water portion is COLD! Fun, though.

yabba dabba doobie

Cartoons Baaad. Commercialism Goood. Freakin' morons.

Iranians wishing to buy Danish pastries will now have to ask for "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad".

Bakeries across the capital, Tehran, are covering up signs advertising the pastries and replacing them with ones bearing the dessert's new name.

The confectioners' union ordered the name change in retaliation for the publication of caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad in a Danish newspaper.

I'm Coming Soon!

Man, a bunch of heifers running around northbeach tonight - a bunch of dogs without leashes. and ladies, don't think I'm foooooled by those tight jeans squeezing your rump in a sausage casing. Have you ever heard of exercise? Is it tooooo much to ask that you run around the block once a week and cut back on the hotpockets? yikes. broke up with my old lady and am afraid I made a huuuuuuuge mistake. grass is alwasy greener. where all the athletic chicks at?

I imagine I'll see some heads out tomorrow - lets hope I can get up early. it was goooooooooooooood today and lets hope most chickenheads went to tahoooooe. War Washington, Lincoln, Jackson and misc other prezidents kicking off so I can have a long weekend.

.SAT...E WINDS 5 TO 15 KT N...W WINDS 5 TO 15 KT. WIND WAVES 1 TO
3 FT. NW SWELL 7 TO 9 FT AT 14 SECONDS. SHOWERS LIKELY WITH
ISOLATED THUNDERSTORMS.

obro sucks donkey assholes

Some flashes of light with distant rumbles here in the pre-dawn. The cold air reaches all the way to the ground and out in the water. Feels warmer underwater lately, back to normal weather I guess.

Chuck Norris once almost got hit by lightning, but he gave it a 1CNrhk and the lightning got hit.

(The one about the water getting Chuck Norris was the best.)

P.S. Good to see the name dropping has eased a bit. Posting the name of the spot will make it more crowded in the future, if only the short run. I see it like this, I've been surfing spot A alot lately, someone mentions how good spot B is and I remember how much fun I've had there in the past so I start checking it more and surfing it more. Hence, because someone had to mention it by name in their story, spot B now has one more person surfing it when it's good.

In the modern information age there are very few secret spots left. But, there are spots that people don't seem to check on very often and you can get good and uncrowded if you pay attention and don't ruin it by bragging on the internet afterward.

blakestah, if it wasn't me than i don't know who. but i promise i never and i mean ever would have pissed in your corn field........

PS: Good thing db-stah I've got a sense of humor. i don't appreciate being called a liar in a public forum, that's funny shit and i'd glady own up to it if it was my work. gotta run, my favorite sandbars will be magic in about 2 hours. i'll be thinking of you. enjoy the seed corn show today.

man, the more u say it's not u, the more it looks like it. 3to5 is deep... in doo doo, baby.

hey, u JUST saw heffers running around the north area today? WTF? when did u finally cut the beer out enuff to notice all the cows in ESS EFF? you know what the women of ESS EFF are? beached whales... evolving. Call Greenpeace, baby, and Free Willy.

yeah, yeah, and u dike mongering fatty trolls on here can start the flaming, "ooohh yer evil u misogynist mullet kooky cookie eating blah blah..." u know how I know u ain't real women?

btw, O.B. was REAL fun yesterday. yes, I said it, O.B. weeeeee!

Anybody see that girl blow the gold medal in the Olympic boardercross competion?

Obro' Von Clamoid; we otta beat you down.
Bstah - for 500 bucks I can out your
nemesis Corn Bro, call me local 415.
3-5-7, when are you going to get off the fence and throw it down with da crew?

hey E, im home from mexico and i took a lot of cool photos. ill crop em and format em and post em on here eventually

http://www.surfline.com/video/vids/2006/feb/pomernorcal/index.cfm?videotype=wmp

Lewis' Niceness post from July 2004 regarding David Eggers

that's one amazing post regarding dave eggers from 04. In fact looking back at those posts makes me nostalgic for the niceness of old. Its kinda like looking at a classic playboy pre silicone scutlpting. those were they days of a true blog community now we have all sorts of negativity amidst the occaisional pearl. got some fun surf today!

What's with all the weird spam posts at the end of every old niceness blog?

It was really small out there today.

CORNHOLIO

Biathlon's pretty cool.

As well as 1500 short track.

-Skip

Mary Matalin = Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty

...from HuffingtonPost.com

For some reason, I really like this pic:

Has anybody been sick lately? I just got sick 2 days ago and wondering if possibly due to water. I think its just my body needing some rest, but just checking...

It's been going around. The flu and cold, but the flu strain that is going around is particularly nasty. It's different from the strains current vaccinations protect for, and it persists for a long time.

Good one Surfseeker7! She an evil bitch too.

Posting this from my phone but ocean beach is going off right now

http://www.e-kolay.net/haber/images/gg/marisa21.jpg

Marisa Miller is hottest person ever

maleficent, now there's a word you don't hear often:

malefic |m??lefik|
causing or capable of causing harm or destruction, esp. by supernatural means.

Last post!

nope...

hey ho, another small clean winter day.

Geez, I checked out the ghost town that was niceness #746 and the blog bot-spammers had added comments about rape, etc... Nasty.

e, you should shut off comments to pages 72 hours after you first post the page.

72 hour cutoff woulda wiped you're last post out, Steve