E's Surf Report

that water looks icy. how do people motivate to surf when it's so damn cold!?

I'm in envy this morning reading about Hugo.....however, I'm astroplaining my way to the farm as you read this......

bad vibe this
bad vibe that

the board is too big, the board is too red, he's too old, too short, too hypocritical, too weathered, too outspoken on niceness.

but is it because he get's too many waves? or because he tells the truth?

go herd you're sheep niceness but stop the boring bvb assasination until you show up and show him yourself that he's over the hill.

it can go like this. "hi bvb, i'm anon and I am going to sit deeper than you and take all the waves."

Is that a leg mid-duckdive in #2? Kinda looks like inner bar mayhem.

Is that a leg mid-duckdive in #2? Kinda looks like inner bar mayhem.

bvb rules! Long live the haters!

I thought BVB was everyone's local hero?

http://discount-poolsupplies.com/hammertime.wmv

anybody get waves this morning?

anybody get poonani last night?

got some sloppy waves north of boat docks, 8 waves, two hours, but mother ocean is showing her displeasure this morning.....could clean up as the tide drops...

Had some sloppy drunk sex with my girl last night alchohol sometimes is like viagra for me.

BVB would be honored to have me taking off deeper and calling him off. my glide is electro, cal soul, more flow than the river swole.

bvb how are we gonna sit deeper than you when you have such a big board?

I still don't get it. Is BVB a real person? Like, a well known local or tranny? WHy the hate? What does BVB stand for?

[IMG]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f231/jreed0542/surfboardonwave.gif[/IMG]

Had some frenetic, wild sex with a couple of coke sluts who gave it up for a few lines

BVB aka BAD VIBE BOB is both a well known local and a well known tranny.
Why the hate? You have to ask the nice people why the hate.

everthing you want to know about everything on this site is on this site.

nice one jizzy!

I likewise spent the evening in a crazy situation involving 3 Marina girls who looked prissy but ended up going crazy when the cocaine came out.

I'm exhausted.

Why localism sucks. So what if I drive a brand new green/ tan / burgandy Subaru and have sport racks on the roof. Born and raised 33 years in San Rafael. So what!
My wife got SO hassled out at lboinas sunday I was ready to fight. A pug of a mean little white man unloading his longboard who before bumped my car trying to squeeze his trashed Toyota 4x4 truck into the miniscule spot behind us which I overlooked. I kept all my anger inside as I helped my wife unload my Stewart thruster. Down the hill and onto the beach all the while the guy’s mumbling things about San Francisco behind us. In the water he was a good surfer but then he HAD TO go and drop in on my wife, who’s a novice surfer, and he bounces the rail of his stupid fat longboard into the side of my once cherry customair brushed Stewart. She goes down hard face first bouncing off the deck and she’s bleeding from her nose so of course I have to confront him.What a mistake.
He starts screaming in my face to go home - go home go home go home go back to the city faggott! I could not calm him no matter what I said. To my amazement other surfers in the water strarted yelling at us too! I will never surf that beach again. Maybe.

Anyone know the name of the ENT at UCSF that has performed numerous drillings?

Thanks!

Oh and BTW "BVB" is all fiction actually just a person who happens to surf the beach pretty good so like um whatever.

Jesus Fucking Christ!

Hey E- hows about creating a seperate board just for BVB posts.

Or am I the only one who doesn't give a shit about BVB.

I mean some of his ramblings and inspired rebuttals of same is lightly entertaining, but sheesh, its getting rediculous.

I wholeheartedly apologise to all for continuing the BVB discussion, but at least this plea for reason has a suggested alternative for ending the madness.

I agree, less bvb talk, more slutty Marina chicks talk!!!

Yeah, share some more details about the coke and marina slut party.

chicks are just as slutty in the house you grew up as they are in the marina. don't kid yourself

ya, im more into the coke slut discussion as well bvb's ok im my book i guess, ill give him a 7.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmuEX1DOdUw&search=portman

heres one for bvb, and freedom!

what's the sluttiest situation you've ever been in?

For me i was supposed to go on a date with a girl i had a crush on in college that night. An old girlfriend of mine stopped over in the afternoon and we hooked up and had sex for a few hours. I ended up being like 3 hours late for my date but she didn't care. we went to some bar in the mission and actually got kicked out because we were making out in one of the booths. We went back to her place and she basically stripped and started fiddling my yang. A few minutes later we were going at it but i lost my erection because my old girlfriend was so much hotter and this girl was a tad flabby. Cute face but body not so great. that's my story. Not too slutty but kinda slutty. I guess i have more stories too.

Barry fans, our days have come to an end.

www.cnnsi.com

I now have to believe it. And have to believe that he knew.

There goes a potentially promisisng Giants season damnit.

Sorry about your wife getting hurt but your story sounds more about why crowded surf spots with limited parking suck rather than localism. If the guy has to drive to surf the spot, then he ain't a local. Surfing that spot on a weekend he was probably from Petaluma.

I stand and fight with your wife. (but I never go to Bolinas)

Claiming local status at bobo is about the same as claiming local status at LM, i.e. some serious bottom feeding. I mean, the waves are fine for what they are but the lineups are filled with beginners, kids, girlfriends, etc. Who feels good about hassling them? It sounds like Monday nights are the best thing going these days!

mondays are the new thursdays

That cnnsi thing sucks. I think we all knew but this is going to seal it. Will he still able to play this year if steroids are confirmed?

Must have winning Giants team this season!

OK, back to Marina sluts and cocaine.....

None of barry's records should stand. The dude is a cheater!

Shack and Whack:

i love jelly bean's art for mambo

im totally with you on that anon.

wierd. anyway, that guys the king.

One night, hanging at the Asti on Pacific Ave., I've got 3 hits of cid in my pocket, and I run in to a couple of friends from freshman year.

"You want to drop some acid"
"Hell, yeah!"

So a sweet beginning to an even sweeter evening. We start playing pool in the back room, and this hot, Japanese-American stripper who my buddies know walks in, and we all say hi in our "just coming on" acid mumbles.

She ends up hanging out with us for like an hour, some of her friends show up, and asks if we want to go down and dance at the Blue.

From this point forward, I have no idea what happened to my friends, or her friends, all I know is we get to the Blue and are basically dry humping all over the fucking place.

We are essentially asked to leave by the bouncer, since blatant displays of heterosexual acts are not appreciated in what was Pacific Ave's only gay bar.

So we go back to my bedroom, and have the wickedest, sluttiest sex of my life, for hours..my acid dick stayed hard all night. She is totally hot by the way, big breats with erect pierced nipples, tight and shaved below.

It was soo awesome. At some point in the night, my two buddies knock on my bedroom door, and ask me if I want to go to the beach.

I said yeah...

bagel or anon, can you post more of his work? always loved those mambo ads. Actually one of the only cartoons i've ever *ahem* fantasized about.

hells yeah Jizzy!

check the website

http://www.erostypopla.com/

that story about bolinas bums me out. so the one guy is a total jackass, local or not there's not much you can do about that, but what is up with the others in the water giving you shit?

that story was ficton.

there used to be this really cool bartender at the Asti named, Melinda. She used to feed me free shots of Jager whenever I'd cruz in there alone. She was super cool, and then one day, she was gone. I heard she got fired cause she was drinking too much and getting wasted when she was working.

my grandpappy's drank at the asti, my pappy has drank at the asti and i've drank at the asti.

Family values oi!

hmmmm....the marina...maybe i should have given it a chance before i got married. interestingly enough, my experience does confirm that marina women also get freaky outside of their neighborhood.

in 20 years there will be ex-pro football and baseball players dying in droves, robbed of 30+ years of their lives from steroid abuse leading to heart disease or dementia. Look at the 70s Pittsburgh Steelers Iron Curtain...

fiction, eh? i guess i'm the reason internet trolls exist; i need to have a better bullshit filter installed in my brain.

I like how the blog has now become a depository for sex and drugs stories. Personally, I thought the whole surfy thing was growing a tad boring.

One time I got married and then we procreated just as the Lord intended. It was proper.

The world loses another great guitar player
RIP: Ali Farka Toure

quit exploiting the marina!

how are we exploiting?? The mission girls love scuzzy hipster/surfer types partying and hanging with them. It makes them feel stylish for a few years before they settle down with their conservative investment banker husband and move to Marin to start a family.

poon localism. hehe

anyone know how much ward coffey's boards run these days? (yes, i called, but no one answered) thanks

Really sorry to hear about the guy and his wife having a bad outing at Bolinas. That place generally has good vibes,even though it can be pretty crowded.I bet the guy yelling and dropping in was not even a local.Just curious why the guy was letting his wife/ novice surfer ride his custom airbrushed Stewart thruster? Geez rent the soft top for 15 bucks and save the pearl board atleast!

SWOLE

wait a second....this post is clearly wrong. it should be 'marina' girls, not 'mission' girls.
----------
how are we exploiting?? The mission girls love scuzzy hipster/surfer types partying and hanging with them. It makes them feel stylish for a few years before they settle down with their conservative investment banker husband and move to Marin to start a family.

Ever had real Traniwreck? That's stuff is unreal. Soaring high. No anxiety..great, great bud. Perfect for sitting on a bar stool laughing and drinking Bud bottles.

OOOOOOpps. Been reading this blog too much. I meant TRAINWRECK.

In the most recent Surfer's Journal, Jeff Divine details the passive-aggressive tactics of:

"Or, on the personal level, use the one-person-per-car plan to fill up the parking spots faster, don't talk to anyone, and start a fake fight with a friend to chase away the abhorred lightweights. Works like a charm."

Um, so like maybe all this talk of BVB and localism and tales of dickheads who ride Southern Cal shaped boards getting hassled in the most minor of breaks is just an new fangled way of staging a "fake fight".

The beauty of the internet is that you don't even need a co-conspiritor, you can engage in fake-fights with yourself, or a well chosen alternate identity.

> anyone know how much ward coffey's boards run >these days? (yes, i called, but no one answered)

If you leave a message, Ward will call you back if he has an answer for you. Last I checked in (two weeks back), he was glue-ing up EPS blanks and getting his process down for large EPS volumes.

Hines is a coke head, I used to drink with him at Ideal Bar and Grill on the SC boardwalk - that dude would come in super stoked and talking a mile a minute. My buddy tended bar at Ideal and let me in on the cola tip.

Never ridden a Hines though...

La Nina is coming. Besides cold water what's that mean for spring and summer waves 'Stah?

WTF? Someone starts a post complaining about bvb posts before anyone has posted anything about bvb? only to unleash a bunch of bvb posts? sounds like the fake fight that f#1 mentioned. well done anon troll!

speaking of bvb I haven't been to his local spot in a few years since I moved closer to OB but I was near there and scoped it today. Very crowded out there mid-day, mid-week in extremely mediocre conditions. Even I used to score that place way less crowded in better conditions back in the day - so I can see why bvb is so pissed all the time!

what better, surfing good surf alone, or surfing with good friends in crappy surf?

Tales of Car break-ins by an assailant matching the description of Mark Alfaro could also constitute an internet fake fight.

some logger is trying to regulate bolinas? that's like going to Squaw and bullying people on the bunny slopes.

I'm going to kick your teeth in, hombre.

Oh no, please, this is OB and it is getting too local.

If I see any of you internet trolls anywhere north of Balboa, I'm gonna kick your frickin' teeth in!

"O.K. that's IT! I'm beginning to sound like a pretentious asshole even to my OWN ears."
- jimmie

"there's more to life than just breathing, but there's also more to life than the One Singular Moment. "
- friendly

"Grubbin on some lau-lau's."
- Ian

"Curren is a total stoner."
- BVB

"Spotted a gray whale on the drive home this afternoon"
- jhmb

"My day is filled with crack addicts, gunshot wounds, screaming kids, you name it."
- welle

"ssshhhhiiieeeeetttt"
- 3to5

"dude, you've got a fuckin daaart in yoooouurrr neeeeecckkkkk"
- j

"I even have been out on days when KOOKS are getting shacked while I scrap like a crack fiend on 16th st "
- pez

"down the line, many lips to hit, tube sections."
- barney

"bunch of meat heads complaining to each other about the "Aliens" in the lineup."
- alien

"Fuck Bush!!"
- mexisurf

"inhale...exhale..i just got an ounce in the mail.."
- bagel

"Mindful breathing reminds us that WE ARE NOT OUR SITUATION. We are OURSELVES"
- jimmie

"shhhweetness!"

"glad to be of non-assistance!"
- ben

"I did plenty of trips without swell forecast planning, and mostly we sat around really bored swatting flies."
- baja expert

"Well, surf and art vocabulary are a never ending quest, but I DO know that one can have prodigious wipeouts without the practice! Some things come easy. "
- sharkbait

"gone surfing"
- tom

"Anthony's Disco"
- eric

"It is good luck that I get to take this walk, I am thankful for it. I savor it."
- lurker

"you slave away at your instrument, you learn the scales, the theory...and then you forget everything you ever learned and just play."
- charlie parker (via eg pimp)

"Try to stay sane inna de office babylon."
- luke

"When urinating, take care not to drip urine on your work pants."
- cube dweller

"brother in the lime green transworld tube be feeling some "love" - big time"
- over the falls

"Don't allow the frustrations of the inevitable plateaus of progression bog you down into a state of ennui."
- e

"Still worth checking the site despite what is setting up to be a WINDsurf spring. Already making contingency plans."
- banjo

In regard to :

La Nina is coming. Besides cold water what's that mean for spring and summer waves 'Stah?

Posted by: Too lazy to figure it out for myself on March 7, 2006 02:16 PM

Let me reply with a snoot full of facts. It's all very simple.

tudo bom

more sweet potatoes please

please tell me, where can i get more of your fantastic women? I have rubles.

grapefruit please

what time is in in australia?

12:08pm Wednesday

thanks

i met my old punch from newport at the san jose embassy suites. she was up here with her mom at a job interview. we went out that night and all got drunk. they were staying at the embassy so i was surprised when she asked me to stay the night with her in the front room on the fold out bed. tripped me out that she was not worried at all about the creaking of the springs as we got it on a couple of times, she knew her mom wouldnt come out of her room. i went for it, had nothing to lose except some jizzy. she was so horny, and made me put my hand over her mouth because she made so much noise.

so, she gets up early, showers and leaves for her job interview, i was still passed out in her bed, hungover and totally drained- i thought. about an hour after she left, i woke up to HER MOM sucking me off. no joke. i was erect too. i was REALLY tripping. she said "dont worry and she wouldnt tell" again, i had nothing to lose so i let her mount me, then she finished me off in her mouth. i was still tripping, but whatever, i didnt really care for the girl, just wanted to get laid. her mom was a MILF, was only like 39, fake boobs, skinny legs, the works. she went back to her bed and went back to sleep. totally wierd. i got up, ate a free breakfast at the buffet downstairs, and left, and didnt hear from her for like 5 years (i was too afraid to call) when i got her wedding invitation. ha.

i almost went, due to the fact that i knew her mom would be there..... but i chickened out.

is that slutty enough for ya?

swear on 10 bibles?

You had me....just like the million or so narrel/barrel stories I've read from you kooked out east coast dot bombie trannie mission dweller bipster exploiter rapists.

Is it too early to talk about politics? I can't figure out if this is for real or just a put on.
http://www.walken2008.com/index.html

steve, is your 6'1" quad still for sale? that must be a joke

yes, it happened. i was stoked/tripped out. wont do that again.

ps- i hadnt ever met her mom before that night.

I would never have you

that pretty classic here's my mom daughter sleazeball story

down in cr kickin it and try some party favors for the first time at the dirty disco in Jaco. whoa all of a sudden I'm fuckin superman- busting mad game to evey chick in the area. end up going back to the pool at the Zabamar with a 38 yo Mom and her 19 yo daughter- fooling around with both sort of- then the two fat dikes running the place get all pissed or jealous so i take the mom to my room, leave the duagther outside. dude I can't get it up for the life of me first time ever. So we go out get some more beers and return for a full on slaying till dawn when the shit is finaaly out of my system.

Get the dawnie knock on the door and Hermosa is on fire a crushing perfect TOH. Take the mom with me to watch, paddle out for 50 minutes full on OB paddle heavyist day after surfing there for 1 month- Catch one beast and come in. One more pounding with mommy and sleep.

Go out that night and I run in to the daughter, she's all "Mommy's knackered but she told me about you last night, let's get outta here..." Straight back to the hotel room, daaamn. But the Mom was better

And yes they were both hot and from Texas, no joke!

aaah costa rica. i dont believe the TOH hermosa part though.

Christopher Walken... It Should Happen!

OK maybe not consistantly TOH, but solid and thick, it was as heavy as anything I'd ever surfed to that point in my life. My heart going 150 beats/ min I even bit almost all the way through my tounge on one duckdive- keep paddling and spitting up blood, scared the hell out of me.. especially with the other activities.
There was nobody out on the whole beach just me the ocean and my buddy chilling with the Mom on the beach- I thought I was gonna die- no joke!

This site is disgusting lately.

And it hurts even more when you read Spring 2004's post. Such good conversation, good ideas, bad vibes but not all the bitches that come after them, arguments but not all the message board crap that comes out now.

Guess it is like e's quote "Don't allow the frustrations of the inevitable plateaus of progression bog you down into a state of ennui." But it has.

I used to be stoked to read everyone's comments, read the real surf stories of the morning, Sharkbaits daily comments, JOC's positive vibes, J's randomness...I'd get my fill and then close the browser and hear all the bitching and complaining at work. Now I can't even escape that now on here. Even the good posters don't come on here anymore, or don't post anymore, knowin' it ain't worth it because there will be 10 lame ass posts after.

Guess I am bitching now.

something to scoff at:
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.03/helio.html?pg=2&topic=helio&topic_set=

hb,

i reckon there's still plenty of good discourse that happens here; it's just that the signal to noise ratio is a bit higher. you just have to sift past the crap with a little more dexterity.

anyone watching the quicksilver pro?
they should move it up to linda mar tomorrow for bigger waves.

Hb,
Love and respect to you, man! Blackark in the house! Stay positive. I surfed today for my first session since it started raining 10 days ago, longboarded alone in sight of 30 people scrapping and fighting for the main wave while i floated and waited for groomed peaks to come break on the very inside and peel along in front of the cliff, waves waves peaks peeling goodness, silver surfer, patches of light and shadow on the far hills, ride from the shadows into a golden burst of light, shine on, go surf, dance... irie!

Multi Millionaire surf bum bastard!!

who da guy

yes i am bitches, i spend more time in the mentawais than slates and ai combined. love yer blog by the way e, long time lurker. i'm also a thetan for what its worth, war l ron hubbard.

is that a speedskating suit he has on?
a cellphone magnate - what has this world come to?

Pancho is kicking ass at the QuikPro!

hmm..haven't been here for awhile..i like reading the penthouse-style 'it happened to me' stories as much as the next person, but..

what happened to the surf stories?