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shuck and jive

Pre-dawn wake-up call from the Lerm.
He says it's doable... get up punk!
Grog out of bed.
Into the cold/damp wetsuit.
A few snails camping out in my hood.
Gooey.
Dark, still, calm.
Little back-yard forest.
Run down to the end of the world.
Over the road.
SHiiitt.. it's kinda big.
See Lerm already deep in duck-dive city.
Start paddling and luck into an outbound rip.
Conveyer-belt style.
Watch as lerm spends 20 minutes getting anvilled.
Argh!
Smooth, peaky somethings.
Glassy, throwing pitch-lings.
Meat-cleavers.
Bitch-slaps.
Acrid, toxic brown foam.
Some cavernous windows.
Watched Lerm carve off the top on a left.
No crowds.
No vibes except the ocean.
Flirtatious then penalizing.
Sexy then damning.
Arresting then crucifying.

niceness

niceness

niceness

niceness

niceness

niceness

last post

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 09:38 AM

SSSSUUUUUURRRRRRFFFFFFF!!!!

Posted by: sactomex at April 6, 2006 09:45 AM

looked pretty fun this am on the way to work, no time for immersion, but there ya have it

Posted by: z at April 6, 2006 09:49 AM

Nice niceness virtual cam with text to boot!
Yee Ha. Pleae post MORE pics of the beach and please describe each and very detail of your bitchen Donavan F. ride. Cool. Thanks - Bye!

Posted by: Cynical Guy at April 6, 2006 10:22 AM

I didn't see anyone else out there this a.m. It was kinda weird though, the swell. Just a nice drop then the wave would die out. Maybe the tide change will help later.

Posted by: MSG at April 6, 2006 10:29 AM

no beach pics. no ride description. Didn't even surf in california this morning as lerm and i are east coastin.

cynical about cynical guy

Posted by: e at April 6, 2006 10:38 AM

OWN3D

Posted by: Cynics who haven't even looked at the surf get owned at April 6, 2006 10:53 AM

the Gin Blossoms fucking ROCK!!!

Posted by: Briana Banks at April 6, 2006 10:57 AM

Donavan is a really friendly \sincere person.I have seen him stay after shows and talk surfing to the most random kooks(my opionion)and care about what they say,listen to them, talk with them.He likes people.His "image" is real.He is just that guy. I have known him since he was a 15 year-old contest monkey.He played a small surf promo at the Boathouse too many years ago and it was the funnest party ever.All the different crews from the beach together,partying and having fun. Go see his next show. say hello.
support the dream/

Posted by: Kellys at April 6, 2006 11:02 AM

love for my brothers. love for my sisters. love for myself. love for creation. love is the spark, the gift, the soul.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 11:16 AM

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at April 6, 2006 11:21 AM

since the east coast is flat today, one can only assume that niceness has cashed in it's stock options and gone ahead and built that wave machine on Walden Pond. This utopian surf community should, in homage to the original tranny hall of shamer Doc Hazard, be called the Double Overhead (and Standard) Club.

Posted by: syn anon at April 6, 2006 11:21 AM

maybe e meant the east coast of Australia?

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 11:22 AM

I did not know that gin was a flowering alcohol. must tbe like one of those cactus that only bloom every few years, cuz I've never seen it and I've had 2 bottles of gin behind my bar for a while now.

Posted by: beef eater at April 6, 2006 11:22 AM

OB Crew: My girlfriend is looking for a surf friendly apartment near OB. Any leads would be greatly appreciated. She would be a great tenant for anyone - mellow, responsible and very tech saavy. Feel free to post or e-mail me. Thanks in advance.

Posted by: Wrestler at April 6, 2006 11:38 AM

Hmmm....all the different crews from the beach?
That's it. Surfing is done.
Used to be just one crew, the surf crew.
More than one crew make's anything mass produces played out and lame.
You can have my waves. Share them equally.

Posted by: On to start the next thing at April 6, 2006 11:39 AM

Wow. Nice. Just got the email! The first annual 'NICENESS MEET AND GREET ' is on.
Finally... a chance to come face to face with your friends and detractors. Won't it be great meeting everyone; the old and the new!? C'mon! Get psyched bruddha's! I hear Dave Blake will be flying out from GeorgiaAlabama for this one. Everyone's invited. Bring your wives, your girlfriend (or boyfriend?), your kids, the dog, the cat, the Audi, the purple fish with giant 12" wooden fins. Love for my brothers. love for my sisters. love for myself. love for creation. love is the spark, the gift, the soul.
Doesn't matter what but please please be there. It is going to be SO fun.
Drop me a list of things to bring. Korewin you handle the attire. Bagel you handle the art. Kaiser and Sactomex are presenting a porn slide show so send them your jpegs today!
Flights from Hawaii and places south are being booked as we speak. Slab's is coming in from the north. He's WAY cool; hip. Down to earth and very upbeat. The kinda guy you just want to hug - real hard hug...chest to chest like a Tahitian. Like a man.
357 is going to handle a "Surf-Writing-Etiqiutte- Surf-Technique Clinic." Cadaver will also be with us. He will show us /instruct us niceness peeps on loading/pixilating/paste and cut/photoshop and 'darnit' finally we'll all be enabled. We will be shown the finer points of how to post pics of our favorite surf spots, art and cobbing.
This is an event not to be missed.
Special Musical Guests include, you guessed it: Donavan Frankenreiter singing his new single. Playing with Tom Curren on the caterwaul; Jack Johnson handling the stoney mis-riffs and very special guest Tommy Guerrero is going to sing some his off tunes ! Dewds! Beach Chalet April 14th, 2006 8pm!
See you there!

Posted by: Yep, I'm a surfer. at April 6, 2006 11:51 AM

This site is just the most convenient forum for SF "locals" to vent their frustrations about life and surfing. E and the regulars shouldn't take it to heart. I think the site is fun and entertaining, and relatively harmless.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 11:54 AM

im in J crew.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 11:54 AM

Yep, you forgot the kind herb.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 11:59 AM

The waves are working south of ob if you want to get wet and rip

Posted by: got some good ones this am at April 6, 2006 11:59 AM

it's also a great place for E's band of pussies and horrible surfers to compliment each other and insult the self confident and hungry surfers from SF

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 12:00 PM

Dude, your sarcastic description aside, that actually sounds like it would be a fun party. You all need to lighten up. The ironic thing is, OB is actually one of the only quality urban surf spots that can absord crowds without problems. When was the last time you couldn't find a peak that wasn't crowded. If your whining about "trannies" and "kooks" at OB, your a baby, like Barry Bonds crying about how tough his life is when he's a famous multi-millionaire who gets to bang models. Sheesh.

Posted by: T Dog at April 6, 2006 12:00 PM

-and insult the self confident and hungry surfers from SF

Posted by: Classic! at April 6, 2006 12:09 PM

christian, bagel and elias rip pretty hard last i checked.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 12:15 PM

Posted by: PAY ATTENTION TO ME at April 6, 2006 12:15 PM

iI don't know about self-confident, but i am from sf and super hungry right now. Lunch beckons.

Posted by: todd at April 6, 2006 12:16 PM

Vicente is so more core than Pacheco.
But nothing can touch Ulloa.
Sloat, you've gone too far, too mainstream.

To the north, Balboa -> your're almost an asshole, but Cabrillo, now you're a star.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 12:19 PM

Posted by: sactomex at April 6, 2006 12:25 PM

Attention to whom?

Posted by: Poser at April 6, 2006 12:30 PM

Posted by: sactomex at April 6, 2006 12:46 PM

Posted by: sactomex at April 6, 2006 12:47 PM

I was in a similar situation and learned some things about a lack of sex, or even a perceived lack of sex, in a marriage.

It’s not pervy to desire physical intimacy with your spouse. You love her; you’ve chosen her above anyone else to spend the rest of your life with. Unfortunately, no matter how politely she does it, being rejected sexually by your partner carries some sting. Why wouldn’t it? You love her. You want to be with her and her alone. But she just doesn’t want you in that same, physical way. Ouch.

In our case, a bad sex life went to almost zero when we faced her clinical depression and the medications used to treat depression. Anyone in a difficult marriage can probably attest that there are few places as lonesome as your side of the bed when you’re laying awake, aching to love and be loved by your supposed romantic partner, but you know it just ain’t happening and your birthday is many months away.

That kind of rejection and loneliness casts a long shadow on a relationship and it’s dishonest to say otherwise – especially to yourself. So, no, I don’t buy the, “but everything else in our relationship is perfect,” lie. I ought to know: I certainly tried to sell that lie to myself enough times in the decade or so I struggled with it. It’s hard to feel loved when you’re sexually unwanted. Possible, I’m sure, but probably rare.

So what happens next? As your personal sex-drought continues through the years, you may find yourself doing some things you’d never have expected. If you’re like me, you won’t cheat on your wife. But you may find yourself doing handsprings of joy every time a woman pays you the least attention. You may develop inappropriate crushes on female acquaintances just because they’re nice to you. The crushes are harmless, technically, meaning there is no exchange of fluids or embarrassing breakups. But you’ll use them to torture yourself in the ever more lonesome personal hell you’re building.

You don’t want to be the kind of person who divorces his wife because she is sexually unavailable. So you may convince yourself that your sexual/romantic drives are unhealthy; perverted, despicable. Then the fun really begins. You’ll beat yourself up over nothing – maybe convince yourself that the real reason you’re rejected is because you’re unworthy of love. Oh yeah – the fun you’ll have.

You may decide to seek a divorce, but I doubt you will. You’ve likely already begun to convince yourself wanting to sleep with your wife, the woman you love, is wrong. Besides, it’s easier to do nothing and hope for better times.

The “perfect but sexless” marriage is a myth. At least in the long term. We convince ourselves our relationships, despite the sexual issues, are wonderful precisely to justify not doing anything to fix them (or, at least being honest enough with ourselves and our partners to end them). But there is hope even for those paralyzed by inaction. Your feelings of loneliness and rejection, and perhaps her feelings of guilt, will react to form a thick and lasting resentment that could lead to divorce anyway.

In my case, my wife actually divorced me and at first, I was devastated. But little by little, I had to accept my role in such an unhealthy relationship and my role in not fixing it. And the funny part is that, when I was ready, I started having VASTLY more satisfying relationships with women. When loving, physical intimacy is part of your life, you don’t feel so loathsome and perverted. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel, but how far away it is depends on how much control you choose to take over your own life. I waited for an anvil to fall on my head and only then, when I had no other choice, did I begin to direct the events of my own existence. It wasn’t easy, but once you start, you’ll really understand there’s no other way.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 12:49 PM

To the guy at the beach today who backed out of the best left of the day:

I was bummed that you let that wave go. We all wanted it, you had it, and at the last second you pulled back. I did'nt say anything, cause the shame was written all over your face. Then when you had an opportunity for redemption on another good left, you took it, even though you looked nervous while dropping in late. But you made it and I could'nt help but to give you a little hoot. Charging is relative I guess...way to charge friend.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 12:50 PM

Nice.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 01:05 PM

where was that let-go-of-left guy at?

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 01:10 PM

Glippin

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 01:13 PM

Devil's Slide Beach where else?

Posted by: Cadaver at April 6, 2006 01:21 PM

on the way to my years of ability to make the last second spin under the pitching lip as you float up the face backside no paddle take off into the void connecting feet fin and rail simultaneously nearly on the flats already in the bert style power surge off the bottom position eyes on the pitching lip of the bowl section ahead, I hesitated and even pulled back few times.

Posted by: KIX at April 6, 2006 01:22 PM

Bob, I wish you would have checked with my publicist. I'm going to be in Nihiwatu with Kelly and Giselle on the 14th. Shit, sounds like fun.

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at April 6, 2006 01:23 PM

Hey, I trimmed my pubes today. Used a razor to get the sac, and between the legs. Turned out pretty hot!!

Posted by: jizzy at April 6, 2006 01:25 PM

tsk tsk 3to5.
vague is vogue.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 01:26 PM

fahk, it sucked out there. not even worth the paddle. damn... this sucks.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 01:27 PM

One of the challenges I continue to push myself into is the late OB backside drop when the lip is heaving yards out ahead of you, and your only shot is to air drop out in front of it, stick the landing on a fin and try to pump out and around the foam before the face of the wave outruns you, or grab rail and pull in on the drop. Gaping OB mawww...Admit that I pull back on most of 'em, go on the rest but probably only make half of those. Usually end up in the flats with a wall of whitewater at my back. What a kook, I guess.

Posted by: sactomex at April 6, 2006 01:30 PM

Damn tide killed the surf, Arghhhhh!

Posted by: Chris at April 6, 2006 01:34 PM

You'll never know, if ya don't go

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 01:36 PM

lean forward.

Posted by: KIX at April 6, 2006 01:42 PM

hanging my head in shame. sorry anon.

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at April 6, 2006 01:44 PM

Maybe try to pigdog those extra-vertical, late backside drops. Over the ledge, grab rail and just hang on. Sometimes you can really pull up on the rail, lean back and make the backside airdrop takeoff. Then you're in a better position than you would be if way out on the flats. Sometimes it works for me but others all the time. I used to favor my frontside but now it's fairly equal thanks to the pigdog. my two cents.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 01:45 PM

Anyone want to see my pubes?

Posted by: jizzy at April 6, 2006 01:48 PM

"You know what, I'm Tired. Tired of standing out in the middle of the street. Tired of driving around looking for a place to park. Tired of being in San Francisco. And Tired of talking to you. I am going to do what I need to extricate myself from you and this situation. Goodbye."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I work at a spot where you need to move your car a couple times a day when you park it. I was moving to a new spot and waiting in a driveway for someone who was exiting a spot. When she left, I reversed out of the driveway, and this guy started to pull into me, then pulled ahead and into the driveway.

Bear in mind that there are two open spots, and a driveway.

I came apon this dude and after we argued about what we had done, He saying that there are three spots and I am just trying to block him from getting one, and me saying that I was waiting for the other car to exit as a courtesy, and that I was parked in a driveway, that is why I backed up, etc.

Finally, I say, "look, that is all about where we were. Lets talk about where we are now, and where we intend to go. I am happy to move my car back to let you park, or whatever you need me to do to help you."

And his response is that first quote, paraphrased of course.

He drove down a block, u-turned and parked accross the street.

We didn't speak or make eyecontact when I walked passed his car on my way back to work.

BTW, 5-10 out mid-Beach mid-day, watched for 10 minutes, saw no rides, opted for a sandwich and cervesa in the backyard for Lunch.


Posted by: friend #1 at April 6, 2006 01:54 PM

i luv pigdog. its my favorite word. pigdog, pigdog, pigdog

Posted by: mofo at April 6, 2006 02:03 PM

Freind # 1, that was a funny and depressing little slice of life in the city...what a freak!
As for the long relationship post, well written and genuine, my only question is there a bad marriage with good sex, I seem to find myself in that predicament and the only thing that makes it better is more good sex. a bit dysfunctional.
Oh yes did anyone what Milan yesterday. I almost felt sorry for Lyon. To all the Italia haters the Azzuri will be a force to be reconed with in Germany!

Posted by: antman at April 6, 2006 02:10 PM

Posted by: pigdog at April 6, 2006 02:11 PM

Yeah, that's what I felt like with a beer and a sandwich in the Backyard.

PIGDOG!

Posted by: friend #1 at April 6, 2006 02:11 PM

5-10? you mean feet on the face? you sure you weren't drinking the cerveca BEFORE checking it out.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 02:12 PM

Antman-

If I learned anything watching Juve's sorry display yesterday, it's that the Czech Republic can't rely on Nedved for leadership. Sheesh.

Spain v England and Spain v Italy.

What about Spain eh?

Posted by: friend #1 at April 6, 2006 02:15 PM

5-10

5 to 10 heads in the water.

Posted by: friend #1 at April 6, 2006 02:16 PM

what could it be? insecurity? you paddle out and there is one other guy. wave comes and he strokes vigorously to get next to you and his expression is one that you can tell demonstrates he doesn't give a fuck who you are where you are from or how long you been waiting on the wave. he catches it and surfs it and comes right back out and get's another one.
he's half your size and easily 8 years younger.

what do you do?
1)paddle away
2)tell niceness about some insecure asshole greedy local menace


now who's self confident and hungry?

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 02:18 PM

he can have that first one, I just paddled out and he was already there like you said.
what happened to the option of getting my own waves and not giving a fuck about the greedy menace?
dropping in on him a few times?
or just beating his ass?
I am self confident and I will eat your breakfast.

Posted by: above your petty shit at April 6, 2006 02:31 PM

Freind #1 - intruiging to think of Spain but they always seem to underachieve despite massive talent, who knows perhaps this is their year ? England will be dangerous for sure. And don't think I'm carried away by Italy's recent thrashing of Germany, these pre tournament freinlies bear little resemblance to the real deal . I remember Italy tying both Luxenborg and the Portugese u-21 team pre-tourney in 82 and we all know what happened next. I still think their defense is a little shaky but they are showing signs of Midfield brilliance. For some reason I dont see any suprise upstarts this year. I also think Brazil may break tradition and win it all on European soil.

Posted by: antman at April 6, 2006 02:39 PM

bring us your tired, angry, bitter masses

Posted by: niceness.com at April 6, 2006 02:40 PM

anybody whining about bad surf or the tide killing it today at OB is full of shit!!

Posted by: Giselle's Box at April 6, 2006 02:45 PM

waht the hell do you want? all the others are too tired angry and bitter, so its just me. so? what is it?

Posted by: tired, angry, bitter mass at April 6, 2006 02:51 PM

i before e...

I'm hoping for a shock US goal to get them passed the Azzuri, and hope against hope for the Czechs since they play entertaining football.

The Spainiards do not deserve anything since they always trip up at the end perhaps not as spectacularly as the Dutch, who may have at last paid the full compliment of dues in order to prevail at the end.

My Spain v Italy- Spain v. England Comment spoke more to the Club game.

All those teams have precious few homegrown players.


Posted by: friend #1 at April 6, 2006 03:00 PM

Dudes, soccer is friggin boring.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 03:09 PM

Posted by: boring soccer pic at April 6, 2006 03:10 PM

this aint europe!

Posted by: team america at April 6, 2006 03:10 PM

I'm sure the hour delay to pick up the pieces of his leg and cart him off the field was absolutely riveting. that nano-second of broken bone terror was the only interruption of the previous hour of endless monotony.

Posted by: a.d.d desciple at April 6, 2006 03:15 PM

I forgot to shave, and came on the Tonight Show in a party dress with no panties - hee hee

Posted by: tori spelling at April 6, 2006 03:20 PM

Well, the Arsenal only have two English players (Cole and Campbell) and they're both injured at the moment. It'd be pretty funny if they won the CL without a single homegrown player in the team or on the bench..........

As far as the WC goes, a win and a draw will get you through, so a win against Ghana and a draw vs. the Italians should do it....

Posted by: limevoodoo at April 6, 2006 03:23 PM

Yeah, sure baseball and golf are really exiting. wake up you dumb rednecks, soccer is the world' st popular sport for a reason.

also freind #1, yes there are many foreigners on the Italian and spainish teams but be realistic. Italy will prevail in their group. whoever qualifies with them is anybodies guess. Too bad for the US, they got shafted to be stuck in that pool. Also the Czeck rep is getting a bit older, they had their golden chance in Euro 04 and choked. ( yes italy choked even worse but they really use the european champioships as practice for WC)

Posted by: antman at April 6, 2006 03:25 PM

It ain't popular in America, where you live! Go ahead, like soccer, see if I care.

Posted by: team america at April 6, 2006 03:32 PM

someone post some onion to quash this soccer blather.

Posted by: bocci baller at April 6, 2006 03:39 PM

Man Near Death After Falling Into Polluted Water
Friends Say Man Suffers From Flesh-Eating Bacteria

POSTED: 10:36 am HST April 5, 2006
UPDATED: 10:44 am HST April 5, 2006

HONOLULU -- A Honolulu man is near death after falling into waters contaminated by the massive sewage spill in the Ala Wai Canal. His friends said they are convinced the polluted water in the Ala Wai Yacht Harbor made him sick.

How the man went into the dirty Ala Wai Harbor is not clear. It happened last week. There may have been some kind of altercation. However, he is gravely ill now with a flesh-eating bacteria infection, according to his friends.

Oliver Johnson, 34, was fit and healthy, a surfer and runner.

Thursday night he was walking near the Ala Wai Yacht Harbor and somehow fell in. He was cut and bruised and soaked in the sewage-infested water.

The city had been pumping nearly 50 millions of gallons of raw sewage into the Ala Wai Canal for days.

He went to the emergency room and was bandaged and cleaned up. Friends don't know if he told doctors he had been in contaminated water.

"All I know is: he went in, he got cleaned up, he went home," Johnson's friend, Stephanie Sofos, said.

Two days later, he felt ill and had trouble breathing. An ambulance took him back to Queen's Medical Center.

"Within three hours his body has expanded, his liver shut down, his kidney has shut down, he's in full-blown pneumonia and they have to intubate him," Sofos said. "By Monday they had to amputate his left leg."

Doctors said he has flesh-eating bacteria, according to friends. His friends are convinced it's because of the sewage in the water.

"Everybody, don't go into the water. Wait," Sofos said.

Doctors do not expect Johnson to survive, according to his friends. They said he is in gravely critical condition. Friends told KITV that police are investigating how he wound up in the harbor.
Copyright 2006 by TheHawaiiChannel.com All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Posted by: makes lindy look clean at April 6, 2006 03:40 PM

Like I said, hope against hope.

My Maternal Grandparents were Czechoslovakian, so I root for them and they should have won Euro '04, but for those damn Greeks.

You may recal Nedved limped out of that game early too.

I'm hoping for Italy with two draws and a shock loss. Czechs and US get through with a win and a draw, and Ghana gets to boast about a draw with the Azzuri for their trouble.

Stranger things have happened.

Posted by: friend #1 at April 6, 2006 03:44 PM

gouging my eyes out.

Posted by: stop the soccer madness at April 6, 2006 03:45 PM

I would BITE him.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 03:46 PM

I'm guessing that the final will be Brazil vs. England. England score first and then go down 3-1.

Posted by: limevoodoo at April 6, 2006 03:51 PM

you could either shut this place down or just talk about soccer. same effect. we thank you.

Posted by: kicked balls at April 6, 2006 04:08 PM

How did pigdog originate from? It does not really look like a pigdog. I have a picture in my of a half pig half dog animal and it does not look like a surfer dropping in backside into a hollow wave.

Posted by: mofo at April 6, 2006 04:15 PM

Fuck yeah!

I just discovered a new line-up clearing technique. Next time I'll just strike up a conversation about the UEFA Cup campaign and soon I'll have all the waves I want.

Posted by: friend #1 at April 6, 2006 04:16 PM

What time is it?

Posted by: friend #1 at April 6, 2006 04:20 PM

and you can have the blog all to yourself too. double bonus.

Posted by: ball buster at April 6, 2006 04:20 PM

Tori Spelling is hot and dumb. she should do well in porn.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 04:20 PM

get busy time.

Posted by: fourtwentycrew at April 6, 2006 04:20 PM

i'm hot and dumb.

Posted by: Tori at April 6, 2006 04:22 PM

420 time! bababooey... i miss howard stern!

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 04:23 PM

...and my daddy is richer than yours

Posted by: Tori at April 6, 2006 04:25 PM

I know a guy who got his dick sucked by Tori and another actress in his car while driving. Yes at the same time.

True story.

Posted by: Friend of a friend at April 6, 2006 04:27 PM

tori = butt ugly

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 04:34 PM

wow.

so you dropped in on a kid half your size and 8 years younger.

and you beat his ass?

I highly doubt the self confidence. or whether you will eat my breakfast. i typically tend to believe your bullyish behavior stems from your insecurity when dealing with people your size or your own age.

have fun beating up gremmies Mr Niceness.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 04:39 PM

Friend of a friend, did he tell you who finished him off, and did she swallow?

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 04:40 PM

Wow, that is rad, but how do two girls suck you off at the same time while driving? was he driving an RV? i mean, how much legroom does that guy have in his car?

Posted by: Norcheco at April 6, 2006 04:41 PM

Nothing like a nicely trimmed ball sack.

Posted by: Hackey at April 6, 2006 04:48 PM

Jizzy, you are one sick Mofo. I know that is "E" using a ghost name.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 04:49 PM

believe it or not. true story.

Posted by: friend of a friend at April 6, 2006 04:52 PM

i miss stern too. i liked corolla for about a week..now he annoys the crap out of me

Posted by: baj at April 6, 2006 04:54 PM

funny blow job banter too..

Posted by: baj at April 6, 2006 04:55 PM

and yes. this was after she was already famous for being the butter face horrendous actress with the rad body.
funny though. her rich old man puts her on the can't miss show and has her play the straight A getting virginity keeping role.

Posted by: friend of a friend at April 6, 2006 04:57 PM

you people do know Jennifer Love Hewitt is a virgin? Everyone in Hollywood knows that. But she gives a mean blow job and is always up for some anal.
No lie. Ask around.

Posted by: firend of a friend at April 6, 2006 05:00 PM

my wife can't stand when I trim, she says they are too stubly, and they poke her when we're doing it ont he living room couch. But fuck it, I like it nice and tight - just like the pornos

Posted by: jizzy at April 6, 2006 05:03 PM

I also hate corolla. He used to be great guest on the howard show. Now I agree he is soooo annoying. Free Radio sucks other than NPR!

I gotta get sirius I guess.

Posted by: mofo at April 6, 2006 05:04 PM

Posted by: the MOLLUSK crew at April 6, 2006 05:04 PM

Can we get an interview with jizzy? Whatever happened to the brian interview?

Posted by: interviews needed at April 6, 2006 05:05 PM

I would nail Tori, she does have a rad rig, and a butterface, but i WOULD nail her. You didnt say if she gobbled his goo though. he must have told you.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 05:08 PM

wait, i thought that was the..aaaa never mind

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 05:09 PM

My buddy nailed J. Love Hewitt, she is no virgin. Big, saggy cans too.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 05:10 PM

i smoked a bone with anthony jr from the sopranos at a record release party in nyc. his girlfriend was flirting with me and we offered her. then he got insecure and wanted to smoke too.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 05:14 PM

Description: On an August morning in 1978, French filmmaker Claude
>Lelouch mounted a gyro-stabilized camera to the bumper of a Ferrari 275
>GTB and had a friend, a professional Formula 1 racer, drive at
>breakneck speed through the heart of Paris. The film was limited for
>technical reasons to 10 minutes; the course was from Porte Dauphine,
>through the Louvre, to the Basilica of Sacre Coeur.
>
>No streets were closed, for Lelouch was unable to obtain a permit.
>
>The driver completed the course in about 9 minutes, reaching nearly 140
>MPH in some stretches. The footage reveals him running real red lights,
>nearly hitting real pedestrians, and driving the wrong way up real
>one-way streets.
>
>Upon showing the film in public for the first time, Lelouch was
>arrested. He has never revealed the identity of the driver, and the
>film went underground until a DVD release a few years ago.


http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2851488008488190547&q=lelouch%253

Posted by: pro time waster at April 6, 2006 05:14 PM

neato, car movie. go to nascar.dum

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 05:25 PM

I ate a half-eaten fishwich and some other tasty scraps out of a garbage can near lincoln way once.

Posted by: homeless at April 6, 2006 05:29 PM

it's possible your buddy banged J Love Hewitt. The last confirmation of her strategy was probably a minimum of 3 years ago. So she may be giving up the puss by now. But she held off for a while. Google it or something, it's common knowledge.

Posted by: friend of a friend at April 6, 2006 05:31 PM

Posted by: sactomex at April 6, 2006 05:56 PM

Posted by: sactomex at April 6, 2006 06:13 PM

i had sex with the ex girlfriend of the ex drummer of blink 182

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 06:21 PM

I had sex with a girl once.

Her breasts felt like....sand bags.

Posted by: 40 year old virgin at April 6, 2006 06:23 PM


Posted by: fire at April 6, 2006 06:24 PM

8 years younger than me is still in his thirties. ripe age for an ass whooping. if he's half my size then shame on him for not knowing proper bounderies.

Posted by: above your petty shit at April 6, 2006 06:26 PM

what could it be? insecurity? you paddle out and there is one other guy. wave comes and he strokes vigorously to get next to you and his expression is one that you can tell demonstrates he doesn't give a fuck who you are where you are from or how long you been waiting on the wave. he catches it and surfs it and comes right back out and get's another one.
he's half your size and easily 8 years younger.

what do you do?
1)paddle away
2)tell niceness about some insecure asshole greedy local menace

now who's self confident and hungry?
__________________________________

where did this ever make sense in relation to the original comment anyway?

Posted by: not above the petty trolling at April 6, 2006 06:34 PM

especially as this original comment seemingly reflected the view of the local critix to begin with:
______________________________________
it's also a great place for E's band of pussies and horrible surfers to compliment each other and insult the self confident and hungry surfers from SF

Posted by: not above a rehash at April 6, 2006 06:37 PM

so dont try to regulate a regulater. you are a rookie.

Posted by: not above the fray at April 6, 2006 06:38 PM

the guy was hauling, but no way he got anywhere near 140 mph, kph maybe.

cool vid though. reminded me of all the hours i used to waste playing gran turismo.

oh, and i fucked this girl who fucked some c-list saturday night live actor.

Posted by: six degrees of pooty at April 6, 2006 06:56 PM

Sheez, somebody needs to break out that thing about how internet cat fights are like the special olympics. Thanks for regulating guys.

Posted by: Fergus at April 6, 2006 07:08 PM

i fucked my wife.

couple weeks back.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 07:16 PM

it's called competition. he wanted the wave. you didn't.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 07:30 PM

the point is ....complaining about locals, KCLB bla blah blah simon ryan cryin' is boring and not niceness.
if you choose to surf a small shitty day, don't blog about how bummed you are.
if you choose to surf in a pack of self confident hungry, violent loc's you get what's part of surf's culture and history. local's in SF deal with THE WAY when they go on the road. why shouldn't the whiny cunt gang they call niceness feel they can change the sport of kings. sport of kings, not fucking whiny peasants.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 08:08 PM

BLACK.

Posted by: BLACK. at April 6, 2006 09:21 PM

BLUE.

Posted by: BLUE. at April 6, 2006 09:22 PM

RUGBY IS A MAN"S GAME.
YOUR PUSSY AMERICAN FOOTBALL WITH PLAYERS UNABLE TO HANDLE MORE THAN 120 SECONDS OF PLAY MAKES ME LAUGH. YOU ARE SOFT AND DON'T EVEN REALISE HOW SOFT YOU HAVE BECOME. IF YOU CHARGE OB YOU MUST UNDERSTAND WHAT COMMITMENT IS. AMERICAN FOOTBALL IS NOT IT. SOCCER IS EVEN FURTHER AWAY.
IT'S RUGBY.

Posted by: Jonah Lomu. at April 6, 2006 09:27 PM

Hey Guess what Anon, I fucked her 8 times since you last did. She rocked.
What's up with you?

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 09:29 PM

I've seen that video of the Paris run, and it's true, he touched 140 MPH. It's well known in racing circles.

Posted by: at April 6, 2006 09:31 PM

so now i have to learn how to play rugby before i can charge OB? man, this is becoming a serious investment in time, money, marrying into a 10th generation miwok indian tribe (ya know, to get all super-local n shit), and now rugby proficiency. whew. better stop typing and get to scrummin. isn't one of the chaps called a hooker? what's that all about anyway? and how do i deal with the disconnect between playing a non-local sport and claiming locality. oh, and i almost forgot, i have to work on my internet trolling skills, cuz then i'll be a really good OB shredder.

chaaaaarge.

Posted by: krikey mate at April 6, 2006 10:08 PM

Go down to Mollusk.
Gay's, Ruggers and rich kid's from Palos Verdes dressed as a woman will be there. Word has it they don't turn anyone away.
But ya gotta be friends with the journalist if you wanna push your rugby reputation!

Posted by: Rugby is gay at April 6, 2006 10:30 PM

Long ass NB? toob....check the last wave in this short vid....

http://films.quiksilver.com/qt.php?url=/upload/46.mov

Posted by: two fins at April 6, 2006 11:45 PM

puh rrrat a tat tat
brrr tat tat
brat a tat a tat a
puh rrrat a tat tat

I�m suppose to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole beach on my shoulders
I ain�t never suppose to show it, my crew ain�t suppose to know it
Even if it means going toe to toe with the niceness cretins, it don�t matter
I never drag �em in battles that I can handle less I absolutely have to
I�m suppose to set an example, I'm a self confident winner
My crew looks for me to feed �em, when we get hungry we eat marine invertebrates for dinner
That E shit, I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it
There�s a certain line, you just don�t cross it, and he crossed it
I heard them say Kelly�s name on the blog and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit went way beyond some BVB and Blakestah shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent so much energy on it, honestly I�m exhausted
Now it�s never my object for someone to get smacked
But this fool E is just askin' for his blog to get hacked
It wasn�t my intention, my intentions were good
But if the hackysacker feels threatened then he oughta move out the 'hood.
You coulda gone through your whole career with out ever mentioning ____
And that�s just outta respect by not running your mouth
And talking about something that you know nothing about
I tried to stay out, sayin' it just wasn�t my beef, So I did
I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth.
But enough is enough, I can't let it be,
It's my mission to KEEP SF SUCKA FREE!

Posted by: jettys, like hippys, are a failed experiment...bitch! at April 7, 2006 01:02 AM

Thanks for that Ferrari 275 GTB vid link. Defnitely not NASCAR.

Posted by: 3to5setsof7 at April 7, 2006 08:24 AM
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