E's Surf Report

first in

sharks!

the scariest landlord of all

http://tinyurl.com/83bd8

Beware of the "water mafia from NorCal";

Water Mafia

E and Niceness
Seeking/need advice!
After 30 years of surfing between Big Sur and Mendo it looks like I'm set to relocate to the North East for a new job. The word from my new employer is that I can live anywhere in the NE as I'll be traveling all around managing distributors. Rhode Island? Maine? NY? NJ? How bummed will I be after a lifetime of Ca? I'm so nervous about the decision and haven't accepted it yet, but the pay is awesome and it would be an adventure to a strange new land. I'd be grateful for any advice on this. Just how bad/good is the surf? Where can I rent a nice cottage near the ocean that's slightly rural and still have easy access to roads and airports? What is it really like to surf 40 degrees water? Thanks! Great fun out there yesterday, OB showing the first smile I've seen in a few moons....

fuck, OB sucks. If I were you, i'd just go for the money. Jersey has good waves, occassionally.

That loose change video is off the hook. Good find.

NJ is the most consistent of them all if you need to travel to different spots. Ideally Montauk would be nice as it is exposed to most swells and has a nice coastline for points and beach breaks.

I hate NJ, but it does get better surf than alot of the coast. When the ENE and ESE winds blow there is no place for shelter. Southern NJ does get a little more protection from the NE winds.

RI - alot of people in the water there, but it also gets pretty good. Different parts are exposed the SE swells and some are exposed to the East swells.

If it were me, I would move to cape Cod or northern maine, but I just like to get away from people.

Joisey! most consistent. most spots. most crowded. best access to everything else. the fishing aint half bad either.

you're request is sure to bring out all the trannies and their respective haters.

boston baby boston. walden pond wave machine now completed.
no vibes here man. everyone's stoned and equal, ASL� for the cube dweller bro.
come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try to move to massachusetts right now.

the weekend posts are very interesting- self stroking, "local" chest thumping, bvb and slayer bashing, sex dialouge.

just ran across this shaun tomson it is insane:
http://www.surfline.com/video/vids/2006/apr/shauntomson/index.cfm?videotype=qt
if i could get just one wave like this on my 50th and just ride it straight screaming down the line (rather than knocking the lip off repeatedly like he does and I will never be able to do), my life would be complete.

that was me that posted that shaun tomson thing, not that it matters

cannot believe this crap. no more naming ponds. we have a stringent vague policy here. go suck face.

Norman, you old poop.

Don't even think of coming to Mass. We'll pound you into chowdah!

thanks
heaps of seemingly awesome rentals on Cape Cod ie
3 bdrm on 1 1/2 acres 2 blocks from beach near major roads for $1400....same for Maine and Rhode Island. I haven't research NJ or Long Island yet. I'm leaning to less crowds better lifestyle....ack, this is stressing me out but all comments appreciated....

I'd say live in brooklyn and surf Strong Island. Then you get the culture/babes/ease-of-transport of NYC plus some not-too-bad surf.

What's it like to live without a face or name Anon.? Why don't you take your personal sorrows and weird vendetta's and shove them up your ass :).

Jizzy - man: Can you handle the heckler for me? Thanks. Danny's cool. Why be bashing the locals who by all accounts own it all.

Shaun Thomson is a true inspiration!!!

On my way to check the beach, looks like we might have something to work with on this dropping tide, maybe a "dems some good scraps!" kind of day. Keeping an eye for the "water mafia" for sure -- I mean Ooooooo they got that protection racket locked up on my favorite sandbar and they're sending the "heavy" to snap my index finger off at the second knuckle if I get outta line. They've got the quik-set concrete, put you in cement shoes right there while you're out in the line-up. "You're last wave is to the bottom, ya tranny jamoke -- tell Davey Jones that BVB and the OB Mafia said 'bonjourno' ya rat bastid!!"

To avoid such unpleasntries I bring them a nice wad of cash, a homestyle spaghetti/meatball with a "nice-a sauce-a" from a 200-pound North Beach woman, + 1 gourmet cigar sprinkled with the finest kief, and the waves finally open up. They still wax my windows and call me "kook" but what would you expect for a measly $742?

Rhode Island...

Cape Cod (you will hate summer traffic)

northern New Jersey.

Scituate.

And none of them come close to NorCal consistency.

My personal values say the chance is there, don't do a halfway kinda thing, get a place where you can walk to some surf, and smell the salt in the air when you are at home. That is far more important than the diffs between Rhode Island, Jersey, and Cape Cawd.

Rhode Island and Maine have reefs, the others mostly beach.

The water mafia guy lost two surftechs, he should be thanking the thieves.

plus on rhode island, if the wind is bad you can just go to the other side.

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which
almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, and then the trouble started.

Your kidding yourself if you think you'll get even 1/5th the amount of surf back East that you get here.
Move to New York, make money, immerse yourself in culture, chicks, awesome food, and fly to the Carribbean, France, California, or Mexico for twice yearly surfaris.
You're not gonna surf much back there. The surf sucks.
Maybe a few sessions in the late Fall on a hurricane swell. But that's hardly living a surf lifestyle...

Larry Laprise has already been dead for a decade. Although, it is nice to see the same jokes running around the internet a second time. Kinda like syndication.

Let's all move to the East Coast. We can build a tree-house and have a bath-tub in the middle,maybe some big pillows...
Must ride a fish.

New Surfer Mag is very San Francentric. Dan Duane on "being a surfer and living in a city" plus other bits including the guys from Aqua on "pluses and minuses of living in a city as a surfer" Photos etc. I'm neutral on this exposure... I don't really think this kind of stuff makes people move to SF... life is too complicated for that, but I'm sure some will not be happy about the articles.

Special Reminder!
He guy's only four more days until the 'Meet and Greet' at the Beach Chalet! Just added this morning is a half hour 'Spoken Word' segment. This however is reserved for anonomous posters with turd fetishes and the inabilty to wrench ones decidedly male psyche out of the "needs to beat-off-to something" stage of their lives. Another 15 minutes might be added for guys who surf once a month (you know who you are). Depends on the amount of people willing to come clean! Could be a snoozer so we might fill the time with a poem or two from Slab's wife, a poetess in her own right.
Korewin, have you thought of a dress code/ attire requirement? Bagel: I can help you hang some art! Call me. And E, Tommy G. and Tommy C. have agreed to let you jam with them if you want!
Jizzy has agreed to handle the disposable tabelcloths and napkins.
Please remember: Surfers come in all shapes and shoe sizes, some have big dicks some have itt bitty ones; some have brass balls and some obviously have none at all. I can say this through the experience of this weekend surfing a dumpy beach break shorepound with 60 other people on one peak on a stretch of beach with a hundred similar peaks? Everyone the same but different. Can't wait to meet all of you!

In Northern NJ you're close to NYC (culture, chicks) and Newark (airport). Manasquan, Sea Girt, Red Bank, Rumson. Not cheap but nice shore towns.

Cape Cod in the winter is really harsh.

nice one traut.

well played.

clad van hammer can eat a bag of dicks

would very much enjoy jamming with Tommy Guerrero and Tommy Curren. thanks Clod.

3 bdrm house with large yard 2 blocks from the entrance to Fire Island for $1400....seems like a
cool area...3bdrm farmhouse on Cape Cod with 1 acre of yards and gardens 1/2 mile from the beach for $1700....hmmm, nice options compared to SF. I know I won't be scoring surf all the time, but to have the ocean remain in my life & surf at least some of the time...thanks again for the comments and advice as I make this major life decision

Clod Van Hammer went all out! woo Clod! Funny how you were at that peak with all the rest of the big iand small dicked surfers. Im sure you were showin em' how its done eh bro brah?

I would not move to fire island. Unless you like cheezy LI guys. Cape Cod has surf at least a couple days a week, assuming you have a longboard and are willing to surf thigh to waist high mushy waves.

Fall and winter get good there. we would make the drive to avoid crowds and the waves are always bigger on the cape. If the winds are NE, you can head to the southern part of the cod.

You will get more surf than you think, but its the east coast. Anyhow, i think its way better than living in the east bay.

hey fat mouth, this isn't a website for picking up gay guys

thanks mofo

hey clod...

sarcasm warning :

white dinner jackets. cummerbund and tie color your choice.
martinis shaken NOT stirred, and a cigarette case mandatory. walther ppk, one round in the chamber, cvh on the shell casing.

OH MY GOD, SURFER MAGAZINE JUST EXPOSED SAN FRANCISCO. OH NO!!! SKY = FALLING!!!
what a joke. grow up.

Jizzy, do you ever get shit on your nose when you stick it in girls' asses?

Hey did you read the response I wrote to my last post?

clod, you should have paddled to another peak. stop whining.

Anybody up for protesting US Immigration policy with me today? Lets march. Thanks, I'm rich and bored today.

also, can someone come up with some good ideas as to where we can march to, and what we should be chanting? I just feel like protesting something.

Whoa there Korewinker - I knew you had it in ya! Alright! Do you know knots too?
Bag of dicks; interesting, hahahahahahaha. I wonder what a bag of dicks looks like? O'OH wait, let me google for an image...'

Oh man - man oh mano! This blog is Weird.
Um, like the peak was like empty north of the ilk but like filled in with same; took like about half an hour before like the whoring hordes like took it over. Some big brazzo guy in a blue tutu with a goe-tee out there screaming at the kooks. Gotta love Frisco. Did they mention B.L.T. in that article and who the fuck made Danial Dweeb an authority on the beach?

(oh oh oh i hope they mention me)

clod, let me guess, the pack followed you wherever you paddled? Like refridgerator magnets maybe? you were first guy on the peak, then the whoring hordes appeared from over the dunes, right? somebody was in your way on every wave, therefore preventing you from ripping, correct? it is always somebodys fault, right??

post of the day, yesterday:

>>>
Roommates wanted: we have a one bedroom 5 bath pad that over-looks vfw and the windmill.We are looking for open-minded transplants who don't mind a little pain. stop by, let's talk art,surfing and see where this goes. Must ride a fish.

Posted by: Mollusk on April 9, 2006 07:18 PM
>>>

No man..it don't go that deep, a little game I like to call, "just the tip."

Anyone notice the poor water quality lately. Got out of the water last night around sunset, and my face was sort of burning. I showered immediately when i got home, but the story of that dude in Hawaii who fell into the yacht harbor was racing through my mind...Should we be paying attention to those big yellow signs?

my face was burning last night to0.

bvb openly trolls for gay dudes on this blog, just get a life--or get a dude, dude

damn...that was a good'n

I also saw the Shaun T video. Wonderful. My 50th b-day is in 8 months. I have some catching up to do.

surf was so fun this weekend, I'm glad I moved here. I like it heavy, like my women. I cant wait for fall!

don't forget Shaun Tomson is a friggen legend former world champ and comparing your surfing to his because of being a similar age is like comparing your boxing abilities to Mike Tyson's because you have a similar number of fists.

hahahahahaaaa....BURN.

surf sucked shit this weekend. totally sucked by 12 on Sat, and mildly okay on Sunday. Wouldn't even chance it today.

I found good surf yesterday but am waaaaay to cool to brag about it on an internet blog.

dont blink.

first post!

music makes me happy and sad at the same time.

Please dont bag on me anymore.

Kix is a dix. Are you even half the surfer of Shaun?

also HB and other reggea dub heads. check out this band, Guerilla Hi-Fi someone recomended them this weekend. it appears that they played a show for aqua a few years back, props to the aqua guy wiht the good ears. anyway its some of the best new dub ive heard. rootsy. local heads too. you cant download it all here

http://homepage.mac.com/amandacartier/guerrillahifi.info/index.html

Foggy photos from a weekend at the secret spot south of town at surfhumor.com. I'm using a printing service if you want to order any shots of your ugly mugs, but the best part is they have a pretty good slide show feature.

Quinvera was so good yesterday. shit!

awesome shot Bruce!

Dear Fanboy,

ASL.

ok then
I'm thinking Cape Cod is perhaps the best bet....rural, some surf, good rent....or Maine....NJ just strikes me as a bit heavy; OB with less surf (imagine that)....am I super off base here?
Or, RI looks good....or the Hamptons. Is it possible to get a good rental there?
E? Peace....

the news spread out across the county from it's mid town epicenter via the crews discussing all things surf during surf checks, gas station fillups, liqour store runs and such.(pre-cell era) shaun tomson was in town. my crew argued all night where we thought he'd surf tomorrow AM. we were going to be on it. well we choose a different spot than he. but it so happens he did luck into a stretch of beach between a couple of points with a favorable tide, wind, swell, combo that creates barelling A frames. he rips the shit out of the place by all accounts. when my merry band of groms arrived at the spot the show was over.

26th ave

sewers

your mama's

http://www3.youtube.com/watch?v=E95McWB4tmQ&search=ali%20g

Andrew,

Unless you have a boat or a helicopter being a traveling man based in Cape Cod is going to get real old, for me at least. My brother lives in Woods hole which is in the swell shadow of Martha's Vineyard pretty much all year but still "on the cape". It takes him at least an hour to get to decent waves year round (more in the summer traffic) and more than an hour to get to Boston or Providence airports. If you decide to live closer to the waves you'll be that much further from the airports/businesses you'll be traveling to. You might want to look carefully at the map and mark out your common destinations...

wow, thnx lard! Any thoughts on the sweetest most realistic and possible sitch that I should consider? Mucho appreciated. Maine is moving up in que at the moment....thnx again

this pretty much sums it up. all of it.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/15643265.html

I guess that would explain "farm-house with an acre near the sea for $1700"....still,quite fetching.

when I look at that map I see NJ....not too fetching but then again,
I'm a SC native and Ca is all I know....I have no idea what it's really like in NJ. Can I score a free-standing house in a setting that's not so brutally urban as here,make friends and build a new life with surfing still a major player for me? I'm so lost.....

Sorry, I don't know much else about NE except that I was amazed at how long it took to get anywhere when I was visiting...

Ward, don't you think you're being a little hard on the Eaver?

I liked esus better, but nice effort.

my sister lived in providence ri for a while, i visited a few times, seemed like a pretty chill place, relatively cheap rent, not too far from some spots, entertaining local politicians, cool old houses etc

thats a big fucking bunny

NJ has tons of waves that are WAY better than O.B. will ever get. When NJ is on, it is comparable to Baja in the winter.

I have yet to still pull into a full on gaping barrel at O.B. with me at the bottom of the wave. I have pulled into many a Jersey barrels fucking out in the FLATS. O.B. is a shit wave most of the year, and decent like 2-3 months at most. I say, go out to Jersey and fuck some of those Italian mafia bitches for me and get some sweet barrels. My dick is being hunted by some crazy Gambino right now.

I forgot to sign the above